How do you know what you’re being told is true? Serious question. How would you know that? There are things I might never have questioned before I saw a close relative or two fall for the charms of Fox News. You know they admitted in the discovery phase of the Dominion lawsuit that they broadcast election lies for fear of losing their audience, right? No, you don’t know that, of course, because Fox didn’t tell you and WILL NEVER tell you. And we’re right back at square one: how do you know what you’re being told is true?
People love romanticizing the spy life, huh? It connects two things people love to imagine about themselves whether true or no: I’m clever (cuz I’m sneaky false) and I’m brave (cuz I’m risking my life). I imagine most people wish – in the very least – that they knew a spy. So here’s where the Fox News comparison comes full circle: if someone official looking told you a lie (or a whole platform of lies as in the case of Fox) but you really, really, really wanted to believe the lies, would you believe them anyway? I mean, suppose I wake up from a coma and somebody tells me the Oakland A’s won the World Series last year, how long would it take until my bliss wore off enough to fact-check? What if all I had was the bliss? Would I ever fact check?
Robert Freegard (James Norton) posed as a secret agent for years. He’d show up somewhere, act mysterious, and eventually isolate a person or persons he deemed “trustworthy” [read: gullible]. He’d have glossy b&w photographs of people that needed “watching.” He enlisted support. And he got support. Why wouldn’t he? If a guy tells you he’s a spy, would you believe it? Why wouldn’t you, other than the obvious (that spies don’t go around announcing they’re spies)? Robert, of course, selects people who want to believe the lie, who need to believe the lie.
The next step, of course, is Robert sleeping with all the girl recruits, emptying their bank accounts of $$$. Oh, I’m sorry; he was “MI-5,” so he’s emptying their bank accounts of £££. Maybe it’s only ££; I’m not sure of the conversion ratio. Then he makes up some whopper 
about how they’re in danger and they have to hide out and lie low indefinitely, which covers his tracks, theft-wise. It’s all very practiced and planned. I suppose the latter is necessary for coverage sake, but what a dick move, huh? It’s bad enough he stole your good faith, your money, and in some cases, your love, now he’s wasting a significant portion of your life to boot. Imagine all the things you could do instead of “lying low.”
So, has Robert’s latest mark, Alice (Gemma Arterton), met his match? No. But at least she figured out his game eventually and remained pissed enough to do something about it. And this is pretty much the movie.
For most of Act I, Rogue Agent pretends Robert is a real agent, which is a huge disappointment. It isn’t just the victims; the audience wants him to be a spy, too. A spy is so much more fascinating than a con-man. But no, the film essentially took the idea of Bill Paxton in True Lies and ran with it. Well, except that Robert Hendy-Freegard was a real life guy. Unfortunately, this con film is neither exciting nor titillating. The cinematography blows and the characters are one sleazy fox and a set of all-day suckers. I found it hard to sympathize or care about anything presented. Rogue Agent wasn’t terrible, but it was about as forgettable as films come, which is the greatest crime of all.
Their once was a thief named Freegard
Who brought all the saps to his yard
His tales would all vex
And then he’d claim sex
What should follow? A swift kick to the nard
Not Rated,115 Minutes
Director: Declan Lawn, Adam Patterson
Writer: Declan Lawn, Adam Patterson
Genre: Movies for the gullible people in our lives
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Grifters
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who get frustrated
