Oh goody, another deep dive into superhero mediocrity. Can’t wait. I liked the first Shazam!, and yet it struck me as a unique win because the film cheats us of seeing the kid display his powers (Billy Batson and his alter ego Shazam! are played by different actors). I honestly don’t think that’s a consistently winning formula, and here -more or less- is the proof.
Graphic novel adaptation suffer from two major problems right now: 1) They set the peril bar too high. Once upon a time, destroying the universe was unique and terrifying. Now you gotta destroy everybody on Earth just to get our attention, apparently. 2) They have either a complete lack of confidence or
ridiculous overabundance of it. The overabundance allows DC & Marvel to make ten movies between them per year; the lack shows in the scripts they write which now include a teeming mass of participants because no one hero or villain can be trusted to carry a film any longer.
Shazam: Fury of the Gods is no exception. This is a film with six superheroes (seven if you include Wonder Woman) and three villains. The latter includes Helen Mirren (77), Lucy Liu (54), Rachel Zegler (21), look, it’s a villain for every demographic. What’s the appeal here, DC? Are you trying to capture the Geritol crowd AND the tide pod crowd at the same time? It’s not going to work.
And then there’s the dynamic where they actually converse. Zachary Levi is so hopelessly out of his league with Helen Mirren you can practically feel her disgust oozing through the screen. Shazam (Levi) is the avatar/alter ego/Superman version of Billy Batson (Asher Angel), i.e. the grown-up superhero of a young boy. The problem is Asher Angel is no longer a young boy. He’s now 20; he’s neither a teen, nor looks like 
one, so why does his avatar still constantly act like he’s 12? You’d think he’d be trying to act more grown-up, not less, right?
Ah, but I haven’t described the film yet. Billy is still an orphan with superpowers that he has generously shared with his fellow housemates. The go about doing good in the city of Philadelphia and are rewarded with the moniker the “Philly Fiascos” for their inability to do it all. In their first peril, a bridge collapses. The fiascos manage to save 182 lives, yay! But clearly flub the saving of the bridge, boo! Yeah, the press is harsh, but have you been to Philadelphia? These people “boo-ed” Mike Schmidt.
Meanwhile, the daughters of Atlas break into a museum to claim that pole thingy that gave Shazam! his powers all in an effort to remake the Earth or some fool thing. It involves a big bubble and a lot of monsters, I can tell you that much. So I feel like we’re into Greek Mythology here. I guess
that makes sense: Solomon Hercules Atlas Zeus Achilles Mercury – some of those are Greek, right?
Basically, Billy and his foster sibs outnumber the Atlas women two-to-one, But the Shazaminators are all morons, so it’s a wonder they all stay alive past Act II. This is when the CGI team had a blast. Assuming the audience couldn’t be amused with just a superhero/supervillain free-for-all, the animators summoned minotaurs, cyclopes, manticores, evil unicorns, and a huge dragon to capture our attention. Did it work? Well, it beat having to watch Zachary Levi act.
This new iteration of Shazam! didn’t fall as flat as, say, Wonder Woman 1984, but it seems clear right now that all of the superhero stuff is heading in the wrong direction. Faced with their own massive entertainment standards, they decided to go the Avatar route: MORE! MORE! MORE! The world doesn’t need that now; the world has much more use for one modestly impressive superhero with modestly unimpressive super problems than a dozen cookie cutter supermen needing to save a galaxy. Less is more, DC. Less is more.
There once was a tweener named Billy
Who got super powers, no really!
His face got mature
Which should make him secure
But instead, he’s embroiled in silly
Rated PG-13, 130 Minutes
Director: David F. Sandberg
Writer: Henry Gayden, Chris Morgan
Genre: This comic book crap again
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: DC executives, I hope
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Those of us holding out for a unique take
