Until today, I could only guess what a chupacabra looked like. I guess I don’t run in chupacabra circles; I’m more of a Cthulu kind of guy. Part of me is offended that I couldn’t pick a chupacabra out of a lineup while I could totally ID Ted Cruz. In an ideal world, that would be switched. Some monsters are real.
Kansas resident Alex (Evan Whitten) has never seen a chupacabra, either. Then again, he’s also never seen his extended family, so when his dad dies, Alex is shipped to Mexico to meet grandpa and some cousins. Abuelo (Demián Bichir) was a professional wrestler known as Lucha Libre. It’s hard to believe the man can still walk upright. And now his weird grandkids (Ashley Ciarra and Nickolas Verdugo) are into rasslin’, too. Memo (Verdugo) welcomes Alex into the family with a death drop from a cabinet. Well, gosh, primo, how sweet. I didn’t get you anything.
Meanwhile, in another film, Christian Slater is hunting chupacabras … and he’s real close until the bad acting gets in the way of the CGI. Chupa imagines the creatures as sort-of burly mountain lion with wings. There’s part lynx, part bear, part wolf, part eagle in those features. The cubs look like angelic bobcats. Your 
kids will fall for the adorable nature and look of this creature. In the hunt, the adult chupacabra is wounded. The things have problem-solving intelligence as well, so the adult abandons its cub leading the hunters away. Without guidance, the youngster finds its way to abuelo’s farm to suck on some goat.
Oh, “chupacabra” literally means “sucks goats” or “goatsucker.” Isn’t that a fun fact?
Naturally, the American kid finds “Chupa” which makes sense cuz why would a Mexican family in an Mexican village discover the Mexican creature? Can’t have that.
Chupa is directed by Jonás Cuarón, son of Alfonso. Alfonso is among the best directors of children in the biz, so it’s little surprise that his son works well with them, too. I found some problems with direction and edits in Chupa that came off as very amateur, but I cannot deny that I liked Alex and the Chupa cub. Children will appreciate both of these things. Overall, I feel like we’ve seen this script before; it’s not just that the film is a blatant rip-off of E.T.; it feels like a rip-off of E.T. rip-offs. Yes, this is cute, but you’ll find yourself saying, “Why am I not watching E.T.?” As prophesized on the “Simpsons,” I think the young Cuarón might be Steven Spielberg’s non-union Mexican equivalent. Chupa is even set in an era not far removed from E.T. Chupa isn’t a bad film, and the creature is endearing, but there isn’t much to this story and next to none of it is new.
In the rural outer Mexican dunes
There’s a creature that eats large raccoons
Looks like a giant fox
With wings like hawks
And is only found in cartoons
Rated PG, 95 Minutes
Director: Jonás Cuarón
Writer: Sean Kennedy Moore, Joe Barnathan, Marcus Rinehart
Genre: What the Hell is that?!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Imaginative children
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The kind of people that root against E.T.
