Once upon a time, I played Dungeons & Dragons. Would I admit that at the time? Oh, HELL no. I was in middle school; I may as well have admitted I didn’t do the Spanish homework or I never had sex. BTW, who are the middle schoolers who were actually having sex and why wasn’t that a bigger issue? We have now arrived at a most curious time in history in which it is perfectly ok to announce your middle-school-aged nerdery, provided, of course, that it doesn’t involve any research into historical systemic oppression. What a country! What a time to be alive!
Speaking of alive, Edgin Darvis (Chris Pine) has a wife who isn’t … and while his child still lives, she’s gone, too. Here’s the dealio: Edgin was a harper. Then bad wizards noticed who he was and killed his wife. So he platonically shacked up with a barbarian named Holga (Michelle Rodriguez) and took turns raising the kid while thievin’ on the side … and sometimes thievin’ while raising the kid on the side. They ran with an eclectic
if mediocre crew … Edgin fit in perfectly.
One day, Edgin hears of the ultimate score, the one that will bring his wife back to life. Long story short: prison. There’s some quality tongue-in-cheek humor as Edgin pleads his case before a parole board while impatiently hoping a friendly bird-human hybrid dude panel member will show up; oh I think we’ve all been there, right?
So now free and on the lam, Edgin and Holga have to get the crew back together to 1) collect his daughter and 2) re-steal the artifact that might bring his wife back to life. It’s kind of a medieval Blues Brothers, except swap the singing for dragons and magic and crap.
Oh yeah, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves lives up to its titular promise. There were dungeons; there were dragons; there was thievery; there was honor betwixt and among said thieves. Don’t you love it when a title doesn’t lie to you? I’m looking at you, Naked Lunch.
One of the subtleties of D&D is that Edgin the harper is easily the most worthless member of their band. Holga can beat the tar out of everybody. Simon (Justice Smith) is a crappy magician, but at least he can do some magic. Doric (Sophia Lillis) is a kick-ass elf Manimal. None of that really explains 
how they’re supposed to thwart an entire kingdom run by their fellow honor-less thief, Forge Fitzwilliam (Hugh Grant, living up to Hollywood expectation by consistently playing villains as he gets older).
There is humor in Dungeons & Dragons. There’s an especially whimsical scene involving necromancy of all things. That’s not a subject I would have guessed was rife for comedy. There were also a number of oddly mature, but not out-of-place touches for a film aimed at a pre-pubescent set, like two parents collectively raising a child while being completely unattracted and untied to one another. Like a semi-serious discussion about whether the morally-challenged head of a kingdom can provide a better life than the actual parent of that child, like a partner rejecting a mate for her decided inability to get over her past, and like that same partner essentially selecting a new mate who resembles the old one to a “T,” just -presumably- without the baggage.
As stated, there is a lot to like about Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Then again, this film is popcorn entertainment, and little more. Chris Pine can play Hamlet and it’s still Chris Pine. There is good and bad in that thought. The bad is I will rarely take a Chris Pine character seriously; the good is the man is entertaining, and so is this film.
A thief recollects his ragtag squad
Mixing talent with the power of fraud
When peril is near
One thing’s crystal clear
They’re NOT “on a mission from God”
Rated PG-13, 134 Minutes
Director: John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein
Writer: John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein, Michael Gilio
Genre: Nerds!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Nerds
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Nerds!”
