After suffering through the nauseatingly “aren’t we naughty?” trailer for the umpteenth time, I decided on a strategy for Book Club: The Next Chapter. I was going to count the sex jokes. Because, let’s face it, is anything funnier than your grandmother behaving like a 12-year-old boy? My count stopped at 25. The “jokes” came in flurries, so it was hard to tell if something was a genuine stand-alone joke or just a second punch-line to the same set-up? Most of what I counted sounded like the latter. Had I continued, my guess would be mid-30s. But, and I’m really trying to be nice here – who are all of these grandmas in need of goo rags?
Never mind.
So I got a pertinent question at this time … does this “Book Club” actually, you know, read any books? Other than a two-second package-opening as part of a COVID zoom montage, I couldn’t find much evidence in the film that this group does much beside goad each other into doing anything other than reading books.
Lemme see if I can sum up the cast of characters:
Vivian (Jane Fonda) is an old white woman who likes to talk about men.
Diane (Diane Keaton) is an old white woman who likes to talk about men.
Sharon (Candice Bergen) is an old white woman who likes to talk about men.
Carol (Mary Steenburgen) is an old white woman who likes to talk about men.
Oh, and they’re all really into themselves. Does that about do it?
I noticed that Jane Fonda managed to appear in something without Lily Tomlin (a rarity these days). Not sure how that works anymore. I do know, however, that since Book Club came out five years ago, the term “Karen” has been coined. This is a movie about Karens, and Lily Tomlin is not welcome among a complaint of Karens.
COVID has ended, the girls are finally back together in person and lifelong single-ster Vivian announces that she’s engaged. The girls then all decide to have a bachelorette party week in Italy, which is kinda cool, actually. I don’t think we need drunken debauchery from these women, but –as long as they’re up for it- what’s the harm in group vacay to Italy?
It’s not like the film then got on my bad side; it was never on my good side. There was little point in making a sequel to Book Club. However, I was especially displeased at the dialog aimed at sexually personifying nude statues. Who are you, Florida? Listen carefully, movie, cast, readers, Floridians: If there’s no part within you that can separate nudity from sex, 1) you shouldn’t be talking about it and 2) you definitely shouldn’t be legislating about it.
Ah, but commenting on how “hard” a statue is wasn’t the only reason they all went to Italy; we also had to have a wedding dress montage – which included all four women for some reason—and several brushes with cops, robbers, and romance. Because, sure, when I’m seventysomething, I bet I won’t be able to stroll down any of the roads that lead to Rome without being invited to a private party by my still-interested ex.
There is a certain amount of entitlement that comes with being moneyed, white, and American, and Book Club: The Next Chapter found 
several ways to celebrate such without calling anybody a Karen directly. Isn’t it wonderful when life caters to foolish, wishy-washy elderly Americans? Who can’t enjoy that?
When I press harder, I wonder, “Well, what kind of film are they supposed to make for old people, anyway?” Sure, a trip to Italy sounds nice, a reminder that being 70 or 80 is hardly the end of the world, either; you still can do stuff. You can still have sex and adventure and romance. Ok, so marriage seems a little far-fetched, but why not? Nobody likes to be reminded that they’re old. Here’s the thing – catering to wealthy old white women is likely to happen regardless, so seeing a movie in which this class of person feels justified indulging self-centered behavior is quite a turn-off. It’s like a film asking us “shouldn’t we be giving more attention to Elon Musk?” The fact that Book Club: The Next Chapter is replete with sexual innuendo just makes it all the more stomach-churning.
Ladies, this may well be what you want to see in a film, but at some point you ought to ask yourself “why?”
This fogey club has gotten a second look
To Italy, the foursome ride by hook and crook
Their adventures, blessed
But being old requires rest
Maybe this time they’ll actually read a book
Rated PG-13, 107 Minutes
Director: Bill Holderman
Writer: Bill Holderman & Erin Simms
Genre: Nothing this evil ever dies
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Gonna guess old, white, and female
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anything else
