Are Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey the new cinematic power couple? Are they the Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan for the next generation? In short, no and no. But that didn’t stop them from making another “romance,” did it? Fresh off the expertly titled Holidate, Emma and Luke took another crack at chemistry, both getting a D- this time around. Go back to school, kids.
Maybe I Do wanted so much to be that iconic, meaningful, sexual romcom … perhaps a When Harry Met Sally for this generation … that it invited a parade of talented folks to share this miserable experience. The future corpses of Richard Gere, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, and William H. Macy all showed up to act in this play. Oh yes, it was definitely a play in movie form – I hate it when you can tell.
This is one of those plays where everybody in the cast is screwed up, so we all reflect tongue-in-cheek with wry smiles on how art imitates reality. Or that’s what was supposed to happen. In reality, there was just a mess punctuated with asides that sounded like wisdom if, perhaps, you are not human and are desperate for bad advice on how human relationships work.
Howard (Gere) and Monica (Sarandon) are ending a tepid affair. They’re not happy with anything about their own lives. Meanwhile, their respective spouses, Grace (Keaton) and Sam (Macy) have attended the same movie; also, their respective children, Allen (Bracey) and Michelle (Roberts), are at a wedding together.
Now, believe it or not, despite the fact that Howard and Monica were having an affair AND their children are living together, they have somehow never met their lover’s partners. I’m sorry; that’s 
not really possible. Never mind. The film made me laugh twice in the first ten minutes: once when Allen intercepted the tossed bouquet for laughs and again when Sam made a movie salad out of popcorn, licorice, and m&ms. Not big laughs, mind you, but laughs. And then it had a drought for the rest of the movie.
The controversy here is that all parents hate their lives and Allen’s bouquet interception somehow made Michelle question their entire relationship. He loves her; she loves him. They are committed to each other, but somehow that is not good enough. Um … ok.
Movie, please explain why that isn’t good enough.
I’m still waiting for my explanation.
Eighty minutes of bullshit aphorisms later, the film ended. Did it have a happy ending? Did all the couples find each other again? I don’t care. I really don’t. Good job, playwright/writer/director Michael Jacobs; you made Holidate look like genius. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? No, of course not, or you would have written another crappy movie about it.
Michelle doesn’t dig Allen’s casual flair
So she’s decided to end their affair
Meanwhile their begetters
Envision life as fetters
How many threads die before I care?
Rated PG-13, 95 Minutes
Director: Michael Jacobs
Writer: Michael Jacobs
Genre: Gobbeldy gook
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who find nuance in trash
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “What exactly is this film trying to say?”
