Revised statute §2022.47.b of the Hollywood International Code states clearly: “Henceforth, 50% of all motion pictures, including 100% of all ‘action’ themed motion pictures shall take place at least in part in Italy. The pictures in question shall not be limited by cast, genre, setting, protagonist, soundtrack, special effects, or whether or not your grandmother thinks France would be nicer … just starting filming things in Italy, ok?”
I kid … but doesn’t it seem like there’s an awful lot of new pictures set in Italy these days? Today’s film is set in Venice, where the architecture is as ill-considered as the sewage system. One would guess that’s the “haunting” of “A Haunting in Venice,” but not so. The original source material, Agatha Christie’s Hallowe’en Party, was set in Woodleigh Common, which sounds like Beatles B-side. But then Kenneth Branagh or whomever said, “Hey, y’all read the new statute; let’s set this thing in Venice.” Venice can be a lovely place to set a film, just ask the makers of Moonraker.
Hercule Poirot (director/star Branagh) is suffering from burnout, so every day he sits on a rooftop, sips tea, and tries to imagine what life is like when you’re not a snotty Belgie know-it-all. Italians line-up around the block for his detective services, but he never entertains them. One day, however, American crime novelist Ariadne Oliver (Tina Fey) manages to get by the no-paywall and invite Hercule to a Halloween party/murder at a local haunt, to coin a phrase. Seriously, it’s the ill-fated house where many deaths have occurred, including one young woman the year previous. I suppose it’s just a Halloween party where they explore the legend of children dying in the house, but Poirot can’t seem to go anywhere without murder happening, which would probably make me want to sip tea alone on a rooftop, too.
When the children’s Halloween party ends, medium Michelle Yeoh shows up to start channeling the spirit of the teen 
who committed suicide (or did she?) the year previous … and this is when creepy stuff starts happening, some explainable, like the dude in chimney with a remote control. (Remote controls were a thing in 1947? Guess so.) And some not so easily explained, like the part where Hercule starts seeing ghosts.
Stylish and bleak, A Haunting in Venice wants to be both a murder mystery and a horror … and kind-of falls short on both counts. On the horror end, the film has a shock or two, but never commits to anything one would call true horror, because Hercule is a non-believer and he’s our hero. In essence, this is just a stylish-if-stuffy episode of “Scooby-Doo.” On the mystery count, I was hip for some of the reveals, but the denouement left me cold; it had a very Sherlock-esque “I’ve been studying the indigenous poisons of Madagascar from quite some time” feel to it. Hence, I was put off by the arcane knowledge required to solve the mystery.
Here’s the weird part – I’m not sure I’ve enjoyed any of the Kenneth Branagh Hercule Poirot films to this point, however, I want them to continue. I think there should be a bigger stage than PBS or the Beeb for Agatha Christie. Parlor room mysteries are fine to a certain extent, but they grow sluggish and tired because the settings never change. There’s no mystery to me why Branagh’s first three Poirots (Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile, A Haunting in Venice) have all taken place in anywhere-but-England. Agatha Christie’s England is for a smaller audience, but Agatha Christie should be available to the world. I don’t know that I will ever truly enjoy a Branagh Poirot, but I sure want to see more of them if for no other reason than to enjoy bringing Agatha Christie to everybody.
Agatha Christie was a genius of dread
All that death residing inside her head
Yet her acolytes have found
Her settings unsound
Couldn’t murder happen elsewhere instead?
Rated PG-13, 103 Minutes
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Writer: Michael Green
Genre: “But I don’t want to work with PBS”
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Agatha Christie fans, wherever they may be
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “THAT’S what happened?! Are you freaking kidding me?!”
