Do you know the expression, “fake it ‘til you make it” ? That is precisely what is missing from every switcheroo film. I know that’s not the point; in fact, it is the exact opposite of the point — we want to see how the mom acts as the daughter and vice-versa. But it so defies both logic and human nature that the result is my brain turns off.
I mean, take “the big presentation” moment. Jennifer Garner -for the nth consecutive time- playing the high-powered-business-rock-star-yet-family-devoted mom, needs to deliver the big architecture pitch to the fussy client. When Jess (Garner) switches bodies with daughter CC (Emma Myers), the teen in the adult body suddenly has to give the big pitch to the fussy client. It’s stupid, of course, that the pitch meeting wasn’t deferred or relegated, but fine, ok , the girl has to be mom and give the pitch. So what happens? Does CC in Jess body study the index cards and learn as much as she can? Does she sit quietly and try to absorb the conversation so she may contribute? Does she, in fact, fake it until she makes it? None of the above. She eats a bunch of ice cream and then delivers the pitch not like a teen trying to emulate an adult, but like an adult trying to emulate a child. And the pitch is interrupted immediately by gastro-intestinal problems regarding lactose intolerance. You never lose a family audience by farting, huh?
The worst part? This is out of character for CC, a local soccer star who almost certainly cares about her intake more than “OH! ICE CREAM! STUFF IT DOWN MY FACE!”
I should back up. The Walkers are a family of achievers. Mom is a boss architect. CC is a star soccer player. Wyatt (Brady Noon) has a Yale interview tomorrow, (the 24th of December?), and dad (Ed Helms) is a school music teacher. OK, so dad isn’t exactly “wow”-ing anybody, but his music used to draw attention. Then Rita Moreno shows up (there’s a name I hadn’t heard in years and now suddenly it’s all over the blog) and before you know it, everybody is everybody else. The soccer star has to give the architect presentation. The architect has to play soccer. The music teacher has to impress Yale with knowledge of quantum physics. The nerdy kid has to … hang out and hit on his would-be gf as his dad?! Ewwww.
In one bright spot, the baby and the dog also switch bodies, which is kind of fun.
The point here is, nobody is chill about anything. The part where you “fake it” or you sit quietly and absorb is
lost on all these folks. Family Switch started with the cringe from the title onward. “Family Switch,” really? Sounds like poor translation of a Japanese title that reads: “Mom Is Now Daughter. Dad Is Now Son.” Then everybody switches so that each character, in turn, can be godawful embarrassing, but in a unique way. It didn’t occur to anybody that calling in sick and staying home was an option. Halfway through, I got the feeling that the movie hated all of its characters and wanted to see them fail. That isn’t how the Freaky Friday world is supposed to work.
You get what you get when Ed Helms and Jennfier Garner show up to pace your film. And why is this at Christmas? Who knows. Some exec had a bright idea there, I guess. “Christmas Magic?” Then why was the switch tied to planetary alignment? And did the switch happen to another star-searching family? These are questions best asked of a more intelligent film; Family Switch just wanted to have a happy ending where the once fragmented family loved one another again … aw, isn’t that sweet? And I’m sure you’ll all survive the stigma of family dancing to “Bust a Move” at the high school kegger … this is fiction, after all.
There once was a family of Walkers
Who excelled in their fields as talkers
But they all traded places
And fell out of graces
If it’s me, I’d stuff them all in lockers
Rated PG, 101 Minutes
Director: McG
Writer: Victoria Strouse, Adam Sztykiel, Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Genre: Christmas?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Are you that desperate for family comedy?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “This was done better each of the past five times I’ve seen it”
