In the grand tradition of research-free comedy comes the Please Don’t Destroy boys, a trio of nerds so white and awkward they make Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis look like “Soul Train.” In 2021, this set of geeks were hired by SNL, who -sometimes- can’t do any worse. They proved good enough to continue making sketches about three nerds sharing a small office (write what you know!) and now they went and made a movie, defying all odds by proving they could exist out-of-doors.
I kid. And I should kid. These aren’t real actors; they are barely real comedians. This isn’t much of a movie. However, Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain is my favorite guilty pleasure of 2023. Martin (Martin Herlihy), John (John Higgins), and Ben (Ben Marshall) -you gotta love actors who aspire nothing more than to play themselves- all work at store for outdoor enthusiasts called Trout Plus.
I swear this film had me at “Trout Plus.” You nerds are all right.
One of the boys has a strict father played by Conan O’Brien (which is funny by itself). I can’t tell you which one exactly. It’s kind of cute how they gave themselves different personalities and objectives as if it weren’t just the same guy thrice over. We know you aren’t actors. We know this is just a long SNL sketch. You don’t have to do character development for us, really. Just make us laugh.
So there’s this lost treasure, a bust of Marie Antoinette worth $100 Million. Of course it is. And why is it lost in Foggy Mountain State Park? You know that’s the better story here, right? I mean Marie Antoinette was born in Vienna in 1755 and beheaded in the French Revolution, 1789. So, somewhere after Marie became an adult, say, 1775 … an artist … an *unnamed* artist who nevertheless commanded enough respect to sculpt a priceless bust of Marie Antoinette did so, after
which time, the bust -presumably created in Europe- found its way to the United States where it was cleverly hidden in a booby-trapped cave in a State Park (almost certainly before State Parks were a thing).
World at large … I would like to state categorically that I don’t know anything about art, geography, economics, history, or human nature all at once in the most roundabout fashion possible. How do I do that?
Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain
Bottom line is our heroic morons discover they have an in towards finding this legendary treasure which will undoubtedly lead to a life where they don’t have to work at Trout Plus. And, well, this being a treasure hunt movie, there are several other parties involved.
One party I didn’t expect to be involved was the walking, stalking hawk. This is the essence of silly comedy – there’s no reason for it, but the fellas wanted to have a foil and/or aid in the form of a hawk that periodically follows our treasure hunters around … on foot. (Or on claw? Talon?) Why is it there? What does it want? Who knows. However, such is typical of this off-the-wall knock-off National Treasure.
Even if you’re not enthralled with the silliness within, there is a place for Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain … and it’s the same place Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas should know well in light of their cult favorite Strange Brew. If it is late, late at night and you are with your friends and there is a controlled substance available, Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain could quite honestly be the best time you have all year. I’m never going to call this a good film or recommend it to anybody along normal lines; I wouldn’t even call it “art,” but can I envision the scenario by which you might think this is the “funniest f***ing thing you’ve ever seen?” Yes. Yes, I can.
In the very least, it was better than Cocaine Bear, of which I might say the same thing.
Three idiots in search of a bust
Follow paths that no one discussed
Will they find their prize
Without any despise?
Does it matter? This film ain’t about trust
Rated R, 92 Minutes
Director: Paul Briganti
Writer: Martin Herlihy, John Higgins, Ben Marshall
Genre: They let us do a movie!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: SNL junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Who are these morons?”
