When did John Woo join the MAGA movement? I guess he was always inclined towards tales of violent retribution, but, man, Silent Night would headline on MAGA movie fests and sweep the MAGA Oscars. I guess I’m glad MAGA still has a “healthy” outlet for their bullshit, but that doesn’t make Silent Night a winner.
The film opens with Brian (Joel Kinnaman) running stylishly slo-mo bloodied in an ugly Christmas sweater through the back alleys of El Lay. He’s chasing the monsters who just killed his child. They probably didn’t mean to, but two gangs brought their war to his home and now he’s chasing vehicles carrying fully armed gang members who have Storm-Trooper-level shooting skills (have you tried aiming you weapon at your opponent? This seems like a no-brainer).
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This will not end well for Brian. The result will be a life that is son-free, wife-free (she doesn’t die; she just leaves him), and speech-free. Hence Silent Night. The rest of the picture is how Brian gets his groove back, if you can call it that.
On the one hand, this film seems like a repeat; it is exactly the kind of vigilante fantasy Hollywood used to produce twice a year so that gun-fetish manboys would have something to masturbate to. But times have changed. This kind of film with a white male protagonist and all-ethnic villains doesn’t happen much any longer. On film, we are now far more likely to see Jennifer Garner play out our weird revenge scenarios than, say, Chris Evans/Hemsworth/Pine. Times have changed.
Ah, but the audience for this drivel still exists. The clear target of Silent Night is MAGA. It is astonishing how much this film mimics MAGA fantasy (and -to some extent- reality). Our hero is a white man who has been wronged. Check. When his child dies, he has two basic choices: put back together the pieces of his shattered life, recognizing he still has a solid, loving wife and a stable home or go after the gang-bangers. What does he do? He chooses to hurt people he doesn’t know in direct opposition to helping people he does know (including himself). That’s practically the MAGA anthem. Check. Of course, one big problem here is Brian actually attacks the people who hurt him. Yeah, that’s not terribly MAGA. MAGA would much rather go after perceived enemies than the genuine people who are responsible for their pain, but -hey-nitpicking I guess.
Personally, I love the part where Brian simply decides he’s no longer an alcoholic. *poof* I no longer have drug dependency. It’s all in the mind. MAGA, check. And using youtube as a coach, he becomes near instantly proficient in hand-to-hand combat, weapon use, and firearm prowess. He even becomes bullseye marksman right or left-handed … in just a matter of months! MAGA, check. All self-taught. No need for tutoring, expertise, or personal training. MAGA, check. And Brian has a date to do violence; he marked it on his calendar, like “pickup from airport,” “new moon,” or “lifting with Squi.”
In addition, there are the subtleties of MAGA – hero is white; villains are brown. That’s no mistake. The ineffectual cop is black. The evil Mexicans did indeed bring drugs and crime from their land. Make sure to get several good shots of the drug abuse, and a map of Mexico to boot. Say, did you give Donald Trump credit as a co-author of this dreck? You should have.
Then, the biggest “subtlety” of all: who funded this jackass during his drinking binge and revenge quest? Look at the timeline: Brian loses his child in December. That day, he takes a bullet to the throat and goes to the hospital; he’s out, what? A week later? Two weeks later? Who paid for that? He sits around drinking himself into a stupor until at least April. His wife leaves him around that time, and some weeks 
later, he decides it’s revenge o’clock and spend the rest of the year getting ready to do battle. Who paid for him to not work? Who? Most people don’t just get to sit around drinking and doing push-ups for a year. California real estate ain’t cheap, even in the projects. And if he had an endless source of cash, why did he live in the projects in the first place? This whole plot is a testament to white privilege, the kind of white privilege MAGA pretends doesn’t exist. Except, of course, when it’s convenient. Tell this story with a different hero and you’ll find a protagonist having to fit weapons training in between second and third jobs to pay the mortgage.
While I watched this extended montage knowing exactly where it would go, I couldn’t help thinking how this movie would be different if given to producers not interested in appeasing a certain RW political POV. How it might have starred a woman or a Hispanic man battling rival black and white street gangs. But then I thought about how our hero chose the life of a vigilante … what if he spent all that energy doing, I dunno, something else? Anything else? I mean, you know part of the problem here is that gang members got a hold of weapons they abuse. What if MAGA spent all that vigilante energy on gun control … ? Or, better yet, changing the circumstances that make people think they need guns? The hate, the violence, is just going to lead to more hate and violence. You think when Brian [read: MAGA] goes on his vigilante quest, he only hurts bad people? Yeah, good luck with that thought. You don’t see a recovering addict, lost soul, or family man among the minions he executes? And how long is it before some revenge-seeking jackoff newly baptized into the world of evil comes looking for him and everything he holds dear? The genre here can be mildly fun until you actually think about what’s going on and why, and, especially, what is the likely aftermath.
Silent Night is one of these films so wrapped in a one-sided narrative that it’s hard to dissect whether or not it’s a decent film. There’s little to no dialogue, cuz the hero can’t talk, and then it’s all about his revenge, which is … highly unrealistic to say the least. I mean, most films -even vigilante films- don’t have a dead kid urging on your mass murder spree. And you know that a “bullet proof vest” doesn’t actually shield the body from damage, right? No? It might save your life, yes, but keep a bullet from doing any damage? No. Not at all. You take a shot to the heart while wearing a vest, you may well live, but you’ll be down for more than an eight-count. I must be mistaken. As usual. MAGA knows best.
There once was a family man Brian
Who became a vigilante scion
Society in decay
Led to targets cliché
And our hero with the (morals) of a lion
Rated R, 104 Minutes
Director: John Woo
Writer: Robert SArcher Lynn
Genre: MAGA Fantasy
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: MAGA
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The po-po
