Was it so long ago that Jennifer Lawrence was a fixture at the Oscars? That seems like a different person from a different age. The transition from A-List diva to whatever creature made No Hard Feelings is such a precipitous fall from grace, one might wonder if I’m going to go with a biblical reference here.
I’m thinking about it. Thinking hard about it.
The Beckers (Matthew Broderick and Laura Benanti) have a comfortable life and a sheltered child. And that child, Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman), is headed for Princeton in the fall whether he’s mature enough to handle it or not. The Beckers fear Percy is not confident enough to develop a Princeton social life, and, hence, take out an ad in Craig’s list for someone to “date” their son. And “date” definitely means sex.
Geez, where did you get this plot idea? Penthouse “letters to the editor,” circa 1985?
Maddie (Lawrence), a local Montauk resident, needs money to save her house. She answers the ad and agrees to “date” Percy in exchange for a Buick Regal. Maddie is too old for Percy -who is not to know about the arrangement (so, movie, when does he find out? Act II or Act III?)- but the Beckers cannot deny Maddie seems capable of maturing up any number of young lads.
Let me be perfectly clear here: This is as immature as premises get. And the action, initially, is even worse than one might imagine. Maddie comes on strong at the animal shelter where Percy works, which might have proved watchable if either party were capable of reading body language. This chain ends with Percy mistaking sexual flirtation for kidnapping, leading to a mace attack.
Are other viewers having fun here? Because I’m not. Not even a little.
Unable to take a hint, Maddie comes on even stronger in follow-up meetings. I cannot emphasize enough that regardless of his words or general guy-ness, Percy is 100% uncomfortable with Maddie’s overtly sexual behavior. Heck, there’s a good argument to be made that he doesn’t even like Maddie. I mean, up to this point, what’s to like? Were Jennifer Lawrence not a knockout, the film would almost certainly encourage Percy to lose her.
If the sexual roles were reversed, in fact, we’d have seen Maddie call the cops and thought, “about damn time.” How is over-the-top sexually aggressive behavior more acceptable when the guy is the meeker of the two? And, of course, this is the key to the “humor” in the first half of the film – watch
naked JLaw duke it out with beach trash. Geez Loo-eez, who steals clothes from a skinny-dipper and doesn’t give them back when called on it?
About midway through, the film decided the comedy wasn’t working – because, essentially, it wasn’t, and started making a different film about Maddie and Percy perhaps finding common ground as friends. This proved awkward given their history, but I guarantee this film was easier to watch. At this point, No Hard Feelings becomes a mere “meh” offering, mediocre to be sure and yet a full three steps above “GOOD GOD, WHO ALLOWED THIS?!”
I’m thinkin’ 1.5 stars is a pretty generous rating given how offensive that first half of the film is. It is worth note that the very best moment in the film is when the shy Percy opens up and, with use of a temporarily unoccupied piano in a crowded restaurant, covers the Hall & Oates hit “Maneater,” a song where he’s clearly acknowledging that his date is a (potentially dangerous) sexual predator.
I reiterate, this is the best scene in the film.
I love JLaw. I always wish her well, and I see this particular performance, sadly painful as it is, has gotten her some positive attention. Congrats, writer/director Gene Stupnitsky, for if not for JLaw’s performance, No Hard Feelings could easily be a bottom ten film for 2023.
There once was a woman named Maddie
Employed to make man of a laddie
Were Maddie male
The result would be jail
But at least sense could come of “Who’s your daddy?”
Rated R, 103 Minutes
Director: Gene Stupnitsky
Writer: Gene Stupnitsky, John Phillips
Genre: Movies for the immature
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: High school boys in love with Jennifer Lawrence
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The rest of us
