Here’s a movie that lost me. In fact, I can pinpoint exactly where it lost me. And it didn’t lose me because I disliked the main character, action, or premise. It lost because I suddenly felt like I had been rooting for Jack Torrance in The Shining. And the movie never figured out its hero was a psychopath. Well, that’s … disturbing.
The scene is rural Whoknowswhere, USA. A retired school teacher (Phylicia Rashad) falls for a phishing scam. The movie takes us, painfully, step-by-step through the scam. This part is both well done and instructive; there is a chance that a Jason Statham-juiced crowd may not understand how phishing works. Heck, there’s a good chance no audience at all will understand exactly how phishing works. [Bottom line: When it comes to computing … Spring the extra $$ for a protective service, never open anything you can’t guarantee is safe. And FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, never ever ever ever ever give out personal information to somebody you do not know. ] OK. Rant completed.
At the end of the day, the phishing call center warehouse scams the woman out of $2M in community money; she commits suicide.
Lucky for us, there’s a beekeeper. Sorry, that’s The Beekeeper.
I cannot tell you how silly it is that this is both his alias and his profession. I mean, imagine if The Wolf of Wall Street retired to become a wolf and that’s where we are. Imagine if every beekeeper turned out to be a highly-trained, highly-motivated rogue CIA assassin. I dunno how much truth there is of such in the intelligence world, but Adam Clay used to be a “Beekeeper,” a violent extra-legal professional who “corrects” any threat to “protect the hive.”
Geez, lots of metaphors there. Basically, The Beekeeper is somebody extra-judiciously employed by the CIA or FBI or NSA or whatever who has carte blanche to kill anybody he/she sees as a threat to society with impunity. Ok, pal, where the heck were you on January 6, 2021, huh?
Adam was a friend of the old woman, so after the standard arrest/release scene, he decides to play “beekeeper,” going after the wasps (W.A.S.P.s?) who spoiled this hive. Oh, and this is going to get good because the chief hive-destroyer is Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson), son of POTUS. How far is The Beekeeper going to get in destroying this phishing scam?
OK, so far, I’m with the film. I loathe internet scammers. Absolutely loathe them. You are soulless bottom-feeders, all of you. And I know the pain of being unemployed and unemployable, but nothing justifies phishing scams. So, yeah, Adam, f*** ’em all up.
And then the plot actually happens … and I realized my personal lust for vengeance has a limit in both scope and reality. First thing Adam does is firebomb the building. Wha … ?! He kills four … not before warning and beating the crap out of security, of course. But … he firebombed a building. I don’t care what that building was built for. This is where you lose me. How are you any different from the January 6 crowd, huh? They felt justified. They believed they’d been wronged. They hadn’t, of course, but even if they had, what justifies firebombing a building with a bunch of randos inside? You couldn’t think of any other way to make this right?
Oh, and he’s just getting started, of course. I’m in for a long film.
Watching The Beekeeper is an experience I had to weigh very carefully. On the one hand, there’s justifiable vengeance against truly evil people. There’s fantastic comeuppance and
violence you’ll certainly root for. OTOH, The Beekeeper himself is clearly a psychopath. Not content with any normal sense of justice or fair play, he will happily burn it all to the ground without ever worrying about innocent guards, collateral damage, or giving his actions a second thought. Then there’s the part where he can actually get to the POTUS. This just isn’t possible in real life.
Look, ten years ago, a film like this wasn’t necessarily a problem. It was good or bad based entirely on the merits of the action. White House Down comes to mind. Red Dawn comes to mind. These are fantasies based on fantasy. Nothing in them is supposed to be taken seriously. After January 6, however, we are through the looking glass, people. There are plenty of deluded Americans only too happy to indulge in their self-righteous anger and mistaken beliefs. This is the kind of film that encourages them. Ten years ago, I would have said I was joking. Now? Yeah, that’s all we need: one Trump-lovin’ asshole armed to the teeth and believing he can take out “evil” Joe Biden. Having us root for political violence at this point in American history is beyond irresponsible; it’s EVIL.
There once was beekeeper named Clay
In a fight, he never lost his way
Thought he’d retire
But now? Quagmire
It is time for a stinging melee
Rated R, 105 Minutes
Director: David Ayer
Writer: Kurt Wimmer
Genre: Not the bees!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Revenge addicts
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who do not like to encourage things like January 6
