There can never be enough Nazi killing on film, imho. It’s possible I had a different opinion, say, ten years ago … but the rise of Nazism and fascism in the era of Trump has given me fuel until I die. There can never, ever, ever be enough Nazi killing in fictional form.
Speaking of fictional Nazi killing, this story actually happened … but the real events probably didn’t involve Superman or Jack Reacher. Picture 1941 with the Nazis bombing London daily and ruling the seas with U-boat efficiency. Winston Churchill has to do something, right? The plan is Operation Postmaster, and it’s all about black ops sabotage featuring guys who should be in jail. (The Dirty Dozen, amIright?)
The whole idea is a bunch of guys who hate Nazis so much that you’re willing to tolerate the fact that they should be in jail cuz the war effort trumps justice. I’m betting for every Dirty Dozen or The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare there exist literally a dozen stories where this strategy didn’t work so well, but, hey, the people are really expendable, huh?
Brigadier Gubbins (Cary Elwes), aka “M” (yes, “M”) is tasked with putting together a goon squad. His secretary is Ian Fleming. Seriously. This, apparently, is where Fleming drew inspiration. Gubbins pulls Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill, in a beard you wouldn’t believe) out of the clink to assemble a group of ne’er-do-wells to break Nazi sub supply lines from Fernando Po, a Spanish-controlled island off the coast of
Western Africa.
Hold up. Why are the Nazis re-supplying U-boats from a Spanish-controlled island off the coast of West Africa? Movie … you’re not going to tell me? That seems fairly un-Nazi-like, but what do I know? I mean, this actually happened, right?
This is the second film in a row in which Henry Cavill is out-beefed. His arrow-shooting associate is Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson), a human minotaur in an ill-fitting XXXL t-shirt. And don’t discount the coordination with the very unsoldierly special ops – the dudes who look like civilians. Hey, who doesn’t want to kill Nazis? We’re all in.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is frivolous fun; I never felt like the heroes were really in danger at any point … and why did the Germans have a prison camp with exactly one prisoner? Never mind – if you enjoy the killing of Nazis, this is a set of scenes not to be missed. Guy Ritchie is making the best ensemble action movies these days; I would love to see him do Justice League justice. I know you think, “How hard can it be?” Well, Zack Snyder is proving that with each successive film, huh? This isn’t The Great Escape, but it is a good enough escape.
There was once a set of rogue jailbrids
Who got called upon with Churchillian words
They proceeded to maim
And left Nazis lame
Not bad for a bunch of thuggish nerds
Rated R, 120 Minutes
Director: Guy Ritchie
Writer: Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Arash Amel
Genre: War is all Hell … except for the fun parts
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Churchill-philes
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Nazis
