I loathe when a noble idea is executed so poorly. Absolutely loathe it. Look, it’s one thing if you don’t like Al Gore. It’s another if you don’t believe the numbers promoted and meticulously displayed in An Inconvenient Truth, but at least there are numbers to dispute. You can disagree with the formulation, the science, the conclusion, whatever, but you can’t deny there is indeed a scientific presentation in An Inconvenient Truth.
Deep Rising said, effectively, “what if we reach the same conclusions as An Inconvenient Truth” without any of the science?” It’s a novel approach; I’ll give you that. A conclusive scientific documentary with no science. I wouldn’t put it up for any awards, but, hey, there it is.
Narrated by Jason Momoa, Deep Rising tells a story of how humans have failed the sea with our endless plunder. This was the film’s first mistake. Yes, we KNOW Jason Momoa … and he’s Aquaman, so he is a good representative for the 2/3rds of Earth covered by water … but he’s a lousy narrator. Jason Momoa has improved almost as much as actor can improve since I first saw him as Conan, but his voice lacks the necessary gravitas for this material, and he is not comfortable with words he doesn’t use. The film would have been better off narrated by Sebastian the crab from The Little Mermaid.
In an effort to create a villain, Deep Rising introduced Gerard Barron, hipster douchebag and the kind of guy you
identify as a villain within the first 30 seconds of film. Gerard is CEO of The Metals Company, a business that seems like it’s environmentally conscious right up until there’s a good profit to be made. “Oh, don’t worry about me; I’ll only spoil a small fraction to the Earth’s waters; then everybody will win!”
The problem with this whole documentary, however, is that while it identified some problems and some villains, it had no context for them. Without adequate numbers or mathematical projections, this film became the equivalent of Mr. Mackey, the grade school counselor from “South Park” muttering, “drugs are bad.” Yes, you have identified some problems; how bad are the problems? How much worse can it get? What can we do about it? “Drugs are bad.”
The worst part of Deep Rising is that a perfectly good and comparatively superior sea-based documentary already exists. Seaspiracy is ten times the film Deep Rising is with or without Jason Momoa. That is an actual scientific study in film form. Deep Rising is a lecture by an ill-informed substitute teacher.
“From plunder and mass overfishing,
Our oceans are dying,” they’re dishing
Maybe with some help
And some research on kelp
You can do a little more than just wishing
Not Rated, 93 Minutes
Director: Matthieu Rytz
Writer: Poseidon
Genre: Panic for beginners
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The sea-conscious
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who need direct cause-and-effect data
