Is “professional assassin” a deal breaker for you, romance-wise? It probably is for me, although, to be fair, I’d sooner date a professional hitter than, say, a Trump voter … I mean, at least in the case of the former I know they sold out their morality for a reason.
As happens so often in Indian film, Titular hitman Joshua (Varun Kamal) and Kundhavi (Raahei) fall in love to a soundtrack. I know my Western Hemisphere readers are already aware of this, but any potential Asian readers ought also to realize that falling in love or getting married in the opening of a film is not a good thing. There will be trouble. You should really fall in love at the end of a film before the plot has anything to say about it.
Youngsters. *sigh*
Turns out Joshua kills people for a living, which didn’t come up on his tinder profile. Still beats MAGA; I find out that about you and we’ll never speak again. Even though Joshua seems not to be MAGA or MIGA as the case may be, Kundhavi still sees a red flag and dumps him in the airport parking lot.
This sets up my favorite silly scene of the new year in which a pack of disgruntled victim supporters choose that moment to attack Joshua. Not only do we get to see his kick-ass hitman skill set on full display, we also get real-time cuts to Kundhavi still upset about Joshua’s lack of disclosure. You can picture this, right? There are ten guys with pipes and knives and crap all attacking Joshua, who is methodically kicking their asses, and Kundhavi is spitefully rolling her suitcase away, periodically looking back with a “I can’t believe that guy” expression. Never once does she show even the slightest concern for Joshua’s current predicament.
In the next scene, Joshua has given up the assassin game … too late as it turns out. Meanwhile, Kundhavi is a DA? She must be, right? Because what other legal figure would be threatened by a Mexican drug cartel? Anyhoo, word is Kundhavi is a marked woman. While Joshua no longer kills peop
le for a living, he takes up her bodyguarding contract. Gotta admit, it’s easier to say, “I’m sorry” by saving her life than by taking others.
For a while, the bodyguard angle works. She remains standoffish while he eliminates the many, many threats to Kundhavi’s life. How is it that when we follow an assassin, there’s a stiff penalty for failure of assignment and often the original subject gets forgotten, but when we follow a bodyguard, there remains an unlimited supply of bad guys and resources to make sure the target dies? All I can say is this plot works right up to about the time where Joshua befriends one of the guys who has been trying to kill him.
At this point, Joshua: Imai Pol Kaka goes from “I wasn’t really buying this, but the action is cool” to “Has this film lost the plot entirely?” I’m also coming down heavily on the disappointed side for the failure of the assassin to sing and dance, Bollywood style. C’mon, man. Who hasn’t killed a guy with hot lead or cool kung fu and not wanted to start up a line dance? Not sure what this film was thinking. Despite the flaws, I’m giving Joshua: Imai Pol Kaka a slight pass; the romance was weak, but the action was strong.
There once was a prosecuting attorney
Her fella put all his foes on a gurney
At first, she was sour
Then fell for his power
And decided she was OK with his journey
Not Rated, 130 Minutes
Director: Gautham Vasudev Menon
Writer: Gautham Vasudev Menon
Genre: The kind of absurd plot Americans take for granted
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: True romantics?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Heartbroken hitmen
