Do all Cardinals aspire to be Pope? I suppose that’s like asking if all politicians long to be President. Th answer is probably “yes.” Even if you see your calling as one of servitude, the ability to serve increases exponentially when one holds such a powerful office. However, I think we have to take some at their word here; it is entirely possible that one who ascends to the rank of Cardinal in the Catholic church might look around and decide that the glory of Popedom ain’t worth all the fancy duds and that bitchin’ Popemobile. I could see it, sorta.
The Pope has died. (Long live the Pope!) So now it’s time for the Cardinals to amass like some giant holy power ranger and convene the College of Cardinals (The Fightin’ Stigmata). I hear they are favored to beat Notre Dame this year.
Cardinal Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes) is the head of red. (Does “cardinal” refer to importance or the color?) His job is to oversee the sequestering of Cardinals until a new Pope is elected. And who are the candidates? Well, there’s Cardinal Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto), a popular Italian choice who sees his church at constant war with other faiths and peoples. There’s Cardinal Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati), an African conservative who looks like a good choice until we realize he doesn’t see homosexuals as people. There’s Cardinal Bellini (Stanley Tucci), an American liberal who would use the post to expand understanding and even *gasp* look into promoting women within the church. There’s Cardinal Tremblay (John Lithgow), the last person to have an audience with the old Pope and a man who might have had something to do with his death (?!). And, finally, there’s Cardinal Lawrence himself, who claims not to want the position.
The film did a wonderful job of distinguishing the various men and their positions; that can’t have been easy when you’re talking about a relatively indistinguishable demographic who all have the same damn wardrobe. Increasing and, ironically, alleviating some of the pain points regarding identity separation is the mysterious late addition 
of Cardinal Benitez (Carlos Diehz), the previously unknown Cardinal of Kabul (?!), appointed secretly by the late Pope. Nobody but the Pope himself knew of his position.
The film could easily have delved into a murder mystery, which would have been delicious given the subject matter, but it evolved instead into a political struggle with elements of mystery thrown in, all of which has to be sorted out by Cardinal Lawrence while exhibiting a piety worthy of position.
I suppose it’s not much of a revelation that the contest for Pope is as much a political one as it is one of practicality or religion, but it struck me anew how much the vying for supreme pontiff resembled that of a group of teens electing a student council president. Oh sure, the customs and uniforms are a bit different, but the overall procedure is, really, not. At the end of the day, this is a popularity contest just like any other.
It took me until Act III to realize I was watching a damn good film. Conclave sneaks up on you. I got so involved in the weeds that it didn’t occur to me that the film did this on purpose. Conclave is brilliant for being both an argument against and a love letter to the Catholic church. The film isn’t just about the investigation of the previous Pope and the election of a new one, it’s about the investigation of the viability of the modern Catholic church: is this institution outdated or does it have a place in modern society? It’s funny; I watch a handful of preachy, vomit-inducing Angel Studio Christian propaganda films every year and yet Conclave, this backhanded exploration on the rites of Catholicism, is a better ad for Christianity than all the Angel Studio films put together.
Alas! We’ve got the death of a Pope
Can the Cardinals show us there’s new hope?
While it’s all about Jesus
They don’t care to please us
Which is why Catholicism makes me say, “nope”
Rated PG, 120 Minutes
Director: Edward Berger
Writer: Peter Straughan, Robert Harris
Genre: Hey, holy guys can be just as petty and underhanded as the rest of us!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who enjoy the politics of Catholicism
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who do not like their faith challenged
