What side are you on, Angel Studios? Nazism didn’t appear in a vacuum. Fascism doesn’t foment in a vacuum. Fascism is here, now, in our country, and will own all three branches of government as of January. What’s that? Trump’s not fascist? MAGA’s not fascist? Geez, I wish. You clearly haven’t read Project 2025; it’s a fascist blueprint. Do you honestly believe Trump or MAGA cares about lowering grocery and gas prices? Geez, how naïve. Do you honestly believe Trump or MAGA could lower grocery and gas prices? Geez, how naïve. I’ll tell you what they can and will do – they will make everybody on the planet who is not already a billionaire unhappy (just like he did from 2017 to 2020), and that includes every non-billionaire who voted for him. Hell, the people who voted for him are already the sorest winners in history; you think when Trump’s actions lead to higher prices (yes, they will) and sore feelings that anybody is going to be happier than where they are now? Geez, how naïve.
And so I return to my original question: what side are you on, Angel Studios? Because here you made a too-long biopic about how much you loathe Nazis, and yet behind the scenes, you’re still all wealthy white men only too interested in using your money and Christian influence to usher in a new wave of American fascism.
Li’l Dietrich Bonhoeffer played “catch me if you can” for far too long. [Personally, I have yet to see an Angel Studio film that couldn’t lose at least thirty minutes of film without losing any of the story.] Before his older brother sacrificed himself to WWI in 1918, he gave Dietrich his first Bible, which is as shitty a gift as anyone can imagine for all sorts of reasons. Luckily for the film, Dietrich (Jonas Dassler) grows up to be a preacher. Yay. The gift of the Bible was not in vain; after all, it led to this crappy film.
As a young preacher, Bonhoeffer spent some time in Harlem proving he’s not racist. OK, I see that your subject is not racist, but, um, how about you? You had three consecutive scenes in this film in which Dietrich Bonhoeffer was the only white man among a crowd of Black people … and in every scene, he was the only person on screen that mattered. At a time when white saviorism is a disturbing relic of past racism, here you are promoting it like there’s no tomorrow.
Eventually, Bonhoeffer finds the 3rd Reich, where he opposes Hitler to the point where he spies and plots against him. Here’s a thought, movie. When you give someone the title “Assassin,” as in “Bonhoeffer: Pastor. Spy. Assassin.” doesn’t that title have to be earned. Sure, attempted murder is a crime, but you wouldn’t call the person a murderer, now, would you? Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a Christian and a pacifist, and this is among the most boring spy tales ever sold. Not to mention, it’s been done. A lot. And recently. Quite frankly, if you’re not here to condemn Trump with clever dialogue about Hitler, I have little patience for yet another failed assassination attempt.
Right Wing Christians at this moment are all playing “The Absolution Game.” The rules are that as long as you show one sign of decency, the Left h
as to absolve all your sins, even if you voted for fear, discrimination, hatred, and the worst human being known to man. Bonhoeffer is a classic example. “Hey, we hate Nazis!” Yeah, then why do you keep voting for them, huh?
My thesis is this is all performative. Like every.single.conservative white man in the United States, you know exactly what Trump is and how horrifying it is to support him, but you want to support him anyway, and like Trump, you don’t want any consequences for your horrible actions; you want people to like you. So after you vote wrong, you then take to social media and shout things like: “Why can’t we all just get along?” Why? Because you voted for fascism. And even if you didn’t as the case may or may not be here, you’re using your enormous pile of money and influence to promote fascism.
I get it. I mean, if the Left could even imagine somebody as awful as Donald Trump (but on the side of “the government can be employed as a tool to help, not hurt”), I’d want to absolve myself, too. Except I wouldn’t need to, because if the Left did have a Trump, he’d have no support. And one day, Angel Studios, you will have to come to the realization that you had the power to use your wealth and influence to steer America away from fascism, but instead you used it to propagandize Christianity, a religion that needs no help, which, in turn, supports a cause with no soul. Well done.
There was once a man named Bonhoeffer
With a bio for audiences to proffer
He spoke against the 3rd Reich
And Adolf Hitler alike
Yet the producers are still weighing their offer
Rated PG-13, 133 Minutes
Director: Todd Komarnicki
Writer: Todd Komarnicki
Genre: While it’s hard to make spydom boring, we gave it our best shot
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Angel Studio executives
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Me
