You won’t believe I liked this film; heck, I don’t believe I liked this film. On its surface, Our Little Secret had all the trappings of yet another bad holiday-themed romcom – an asinine plot, a bunch of used-up C-listers, a thin excuse for holiday romance … even when you get into the weeds, you’re going to find a woman who delivered a speech in church while high on THC gummies.
Would you believe that moment is fun? I didn’t. But there I was, laughing and applauding. I hope I never grow too old to be wrong. Seriously. It would take all the fun out of everything.
Once again, Lindsay Lohan has graced my screen. I still think her best career move is to beg Quentin Tarantino for a 90-second role in his next film. However, such is very unlikely for any number of reasons, hence, Lohan has become a Holiday Hallmark girl; give her a holiday and a bad script and she’ll show up to romance some poor unsuspecting bachelor. Men beware! The deal here i
s Avery (Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding) were a thing until he blew it with the world’s cringiest proposal. Ten years of estrangement later, neither has married and both are unwittingly dating siblings from the same family.
This is a classic bad plot. Add in Kristin Chenowith as their future monster-in-law and you’ve got a recipe for a bad Christmas romance. And this is exactly how it played out for several minutes. Buoyed not by strong acting, nor the ending we all know is coming, Our Little Secret managed -to my great surprise- to find the fun. Really find it. Who knows how. Upon “meeting” one another at potential MIL’s house, Avery pushes a narrative that she and Logan are meeting for the first time. The reasons aren’t great, hence the plot isn’t great. We all know what’s coming: Avery and Logan will find themselves allied for survival and eventually re-kindle their spark. And that’s exactly what happens. Ho hum.
But damned if this film didn’t get me right around the gummies scene. Avery is rushed out of the house by the ubermother and has to take a stranger’s coat with her. Having avoided breakfast, Avery finds some gummies in the coat and downs them, not reali
zing they’re all stoner fodder. Then she is asked to deliver the Nativity message to kids at church while high as an ascended Jesus.
This is where most films lose me – bad set-up, and it’s used only to embarrass our heroine. Is that fun? Cuz I don’t think it’s fun. Yet once the statue of the Virgin Mary turns and implores Avery to say something to her audience, the scene becomes very likable … and the film does, too. Later, Avery has the munchies and eats too many cookies (a no-no), and then blames it on the dog, who, of course, immediately gets sent to the vet for a life-saving procedure. Notice here how 1) a series of events follows logically: Avery eats gummies, gets high. Delivers a wacko speech in church that goes over great because church sucks. Eats too many cookies, realizes her error, blames on dog, which compounds her error. All of this does stem logically from the original sin of gummy bear eating. But none of it used to embarrass our heroine, just to illustrate she got herself in a mess that she has to get herself out of, which she does. I can’t tell you how many films I’ve seen which would have expounded upon the embarrassment by adding more eyeballs and futility. That route does nothing for me. It makes the heroine seem helpless and in need of a champion. Our Little Secret didn’t make Avery helpless and it didn’t hang her out to dry, and -lo and behold- the scenes were funnier and more uplifting than we expected. Imagine that.
Don’t get me wrong: Our Little Secret is still a paint-by-numbers holiday romcom with a bad premise. And it wasn’t uplifted by great acting or camerawork or magic, just writing that was better than expected when it needed to be. Sometimes, that’s all it takes. Now, if you don’t mind, I have seventeen other Christmas films to pan.
A smalltown couple twosome
Had a breakup bordering on gruesome
One decade later
They meet up by fate, or
In Hallmarkland you win more than you lose some
Rated TV-14, 101 Minutes
Director: Stephen Herek
Writer: Hailey DeDominicis
Genre: Lindsay finding her new career
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The Hallmark crowd
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Pick a reason, any reason
