It was a time of mystery. It was a time of sorcery. It was a time when CGI dominated the landscape and men bustled around in funny hats. It was a time when our collective reflections on Japanese culture resembled an episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation.”
The time is roughly 1,000 years ago. The place is Japan. The action here is about as real as King Arthur slaying a dragon. The secret service at the time – if you will- is an academy where Yin-Yang Masters are taught, although few ever make it past entry level. The masters are civil servants in charge of protection and the public good, but these achievers mostly enjoy taunting the apprentices by making them wear silly hats and pointing out they’ll never be masters. Jerks.
One kid has the talent. Seimei Abe (Kento Yamazaki) is the entire package -speed, skill, sorcery- he even makes a group elders believe that he’s destroyed a toad using a leaf. Look, man, we’ve been over this: even fake torturing of amphibians will not be tolerated on the frogblog. Problem is Abe doesn’t play well with others, which is kinda important because The Yin-Yang Master Zero is, after all, a public servant.
We
ll, then a murder happens. Did Abe do it with his mind? Or will he have to solve it. And while the academy offers a carrot to any apprentice who can solve the murder, the film just gets chaotic and lost in CGI.
This film kinda reminded me that employment has always sucked. Even in mythical venues 1,00 years ago, you can be middle-aged, very talented, and still told, “you’ll never advance.” I wonder if there’s a medieval Japanese version of “9 to 5.” No matter. This film caught my attention initially, held it for a while, and then got silly. There are some nice visuals, which contrasts an ultimately forgettable film.
♪Wake up off the floor that’s as hard as granite
Gotta be the best mage on the planet
Bowin’ and servin’ to try and collect a wife
Check out the kid who like a new jedi
Won’t he be surprised and full of red eye
When he can’t advance in this age of Yin-Yang strife
Workin’ Yin-Yang strife
What a way of disciplinin’
Barely clothed I see cuz this shit is made of linen
Using all your mind til you think, “hey, I’m all that”
All the grand poobah does is give to you a new hat ♫
Not Rated, 113 Minutes
Director: Shimako Sato
Writer: Keiichiro Moriya
Genre: The nutty hat club
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who enjoy CGI to script
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “What the Hell just happened?”
♪ Parody Inspired by “9 to 5”
