Is the theory here that with a modicum of notable talent, you can get away with anything? Because the answer to that is: “No, you can’t; bad film is bad film no matter who stars in it.” Dumped on your porch last Christmas was this log shat by the Yule beast. It wasn’t good or witty or insightful or gives one a single reason to love it … but it did have “Christmas” in the title, so a number of you will be satisfied, anyway. And God help you if you opt for this slice of fruitcake Hell.
OK, so what happened in this particular rip-roaring Nativity fuckfest? Oh, Christmas in Italy in
August. Cuz a girl is taking full advantage of parental guilt, as they’re getting divorced. What a fabulous idea for a movie.
The precocious 5-to-16-year-old is Claire (Antonella Rose). Her grandfather (Danny DeVito) owns a hotel in Italy where the family celebrates Christmas every year. Ok, that’s sweet, if a little upscale for my tastes. But … we will accept it. Claire 
seems to think this is her only opportunity to get her parents back together -which is something she apparently wants. Children in TV and movies rarely seem to behave towards accepting reality, as real-life kids do.
The ’rents have brought Claire to her special winter place specifically to drop the bad news … which seems kind of a dick move, so maybe we are on Claire’s side. She’s also been blindsided by the fact that her Italian boyfriend has a “summer” girlfriend; she’s the “winter.” Is this how Italy works?
And, seriously, what does any of this have to do with Christmas?
Speaking of which, Andie MacDowell is also part of this family. She shows up later to hit on an Italian guy half her age. Fantastic, now the plot is bad … and irrelevant. Was the Christmas crap not enough that you had to throw in a storyline from the kind of TV show that never makes it past the pilot episode?
A Sudden Case of Christmas is bad film with bad plotting and bad additions. It will die a quick death and likely never been seen again in the future; after all, there are plenty of new bad Christmas films every year to replace the old ones. DeVito and MacDowell are absolutely useless in this film; they exist entirely so someone my age will say, “Hey! That’s ____________.” This is pointless name-dropping. Even Hallmark wouldn’t claim this film.
There was once a pre-teen named Claire
Her parents were divorcing, if you care
So they gave in to diffuse
When they dropped the big news
Now summer has an Italian Christmas affair
Not Rated, 91 Minutes
Director: Peter Chelsom
Writer: Peter Chelsom, Tinker Lindsay
Genre: Even Hallmark rejected this one
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Makers of the 2022 Italian original, maybe?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “I’ve pout up with a lot of Christmas crap, but this is too far…”
