Have you ever wanted to walk out of a film? Not just walk out, but make a scene while you do it? Stand up and announce in your proudest British accent, “This is by far the worst film I have ever seen. It is absolute rubbish and I shan’t see another second.” Then storm out all indignant like somebody insulted your family name. Have you ever wanted to do that?
Here’s your chance.
Jack and Jill is not the worst film I’ve seen this year. Not even close. It is, however, exactly as bad as it looks … and that’s pretty bad. This is the one to make a statement in front of a crowd, because they won’t be enjoying it, either, not even under duress. “How bad is it?” You ask. Have you not seen the trailers? Well, let me describe this work of genius: Adam Sandler plays twins. Wait, don’t go now; I’m not even finished with the premise. Adam Sandler plays twins, a man and a woman, identical except for the fact that by definition the pair could only be fraternal. That doesn’t stop Jill from having an Adam’s Apple and man hands, of course. As if that weren’t enough, and gosh dernit, shouldn’t it be? Jack is a success (all of Adam Sandler’s male characters are financially well off; don’t ask why) while Jill is a pest. So Jill decides to visit for the holidays, which drives Jack crazy. Ho, ho, ho. They don’t get along. Comic paydirt, no?
Personally, I don’t find it any funnier when a white guy plays comic drag than a black guy. And, just like in the case of Tyler Perry, I can now be annoyed by Adam Sandler twice as often; neither of his characters here has the slightest but of charisma. Jill whines about the food, the company, the random hobo invited to Thanksgiving (don’t ask), the entertainment, the lack of connection with her brother. Shame she didn’t get a look at the script first. Jack plays the standard world-weary irascible workaholic from the Adam Sandler collection. I could swear I’ve seen this version eight different times already. He is a small-time producer obsessed with getting Al Pacino to do a Dunkin Donuts commercial.
Oh yeah, Al Pacino. This is why Al Pacino doesn’t do comedy. I suggest that if you have any respect for Al Pacino, not as an actor but as a human being, you avoid Jack and Jill at all costs. Don’t go up that hill. The water can wait. Find a fountain. Al Pacino plays Al Pacino, and while he’s capable of finding a comic tone while exploiting his alter ego, this role in which he is asked to fall for Adam Sandler in drag keenly mimics that of the worst storyline in White Chicks. That’s right, White Chicks.
The only humor to be found in Jack and Jill is the recurring theme of a boy who likes Scotch-taping objects to himself.
It wouldn’t be an Adam Sandler film without bad cameos, but some outstanding awful ones this time around were phoned in by Jared Fogle (Subway Sandwiches guy), Vince Offer (the Sham Wow guy), Shaquille O’Neal, John McEnroe, Jonathan Loughran, and Dan Patrick. There was one good cameo involving Bruce Jenner. Oh yeah, Katie Holmes showed up, too, as Jack’s wife. Adam Sandler always has a hot wife.
Jack and Jill opens and closes with “humorous” vignettes involving real life twins; it’s a shameless rip-off of the When Harry Met Sally vehicle, and not nearly as well done. This is the best part of the movie.
Rated PG, 91 Minutes
D: Dennis Dugan
W: Steve Koren, Adam Sandler, & Ben Zook
Genre: Idiot
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Prison inmates
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The sane
