Proving that bad writing knows no demographic, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel limped into theaters this week and immediately became the second best film about a marigold hotel that is exotic in India this decade.
Boy, where to start? Well, there’s something that bothers me about the set-up because a movie set in India shouldn’t have ten white people with major parts. Let’s ignore that for now. How about when Norman (Ronald Pickup) gets overdrunk, overtalks and overtips and then assumes he’s accidentally put a hit on his significant other. This is handled as drama, by the way, not comedy. Have you forgotten what comedy is, John Madden?
Or, I dunno, how about oversexed Madge (Celia Imrie) – nothing quite says “family” like a septuagenarian prostitute – making the standard swooning noises over newcomer Richard Gere. You’ll remember that by legal stipulation, Richard Gere is required to romance somebody so long as the camera is pointed at him, so he goes after Lillete Dubey so perhaps Indians can feel better about participating in this film.
A better story line is the failed coupling of Douglas (Bill Nighy) and Evelyn (Judi Dench). Except that this gets tragically English and then devolves into a “comedy” of missed signals. For God’s Sakes, people, you’re too freaking old to beat about the bush, just get drunk and stammer as only the English can do, “um, er, excuse me. Really. Pardon my frankness, no, I deepl
y apologize, but would you like to get horizontal?” You know they’re both thinkin’ it.
Not sure exactly where this film fell flat, but the ringmaster of this mess was Dev Patel. While Dev might have proved cute as the greenhorn hotel master in the original, here he is completely out of his depth emoting for laughs but coming off as a Grade A JackAssam. Truth be told, I was happy when Sonny (Patel) flubs at his pre-wedding tribute to Bollywood because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a twentysomething Indian who couldn’t dance.
The plot here involves hotel owners Sonny and Muriel (Maggie Smith) having to expand their business cuz the old folks aren’t dying fast enough. For Sonny, it’s one embarrassment after another. First, he humiliates himself at the pitch meeting; then he acts like an obsequious fool for a guy he thinks is a hotel inspector (while completely dissing a simultaneous guest), however, while he’s not kissing Richard Gere’s ass, he lets jealousy of a rival command his non-Gere actions the whole time ignoring his own fiancée, Sunaina (Tina Desai). If you can find something to like about this guy, this role, this film, be my guest.
I will be staying elsewhere.
Another pointless sequel we seem to have found
Ancient white tourists still hanging around
This Indian groove
Will as yet prove
A sacred Engliphant burial ground
Rated PG, 122 Minutes
D: John Madden
W: Ol Parker, who needs some Ne material
Genre: Old folks mating or dying, something like that
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People so old they cannot tell when Maggie Smith is phoning it in
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Cartoon watchers
