What does it say about me that I’d much rather root for slimy perv old-fart Liam Neeson than innocent wronged Liam Neeson? And it’s not close. I hate the Taken series. I can’t stand the Taken formula: “There has been injustice, therefore I get to do anything I want.” It’s not like I identify with former assassin and general old sleazeball Jimmy Conlon (Neeson) – I mean it takes a special kind of asshole to hit on a man’s wife while A) dressed as Santa and B) the man is present. I’m a little put off by the guy who even wrote that. And yet, sleazy estranged broken down Liam? I’m much happier following his adventures.
Conlon kind of ambles, like Frankenstein’s monster. Neeson is now over 62, and shows every year of it. It’s hard for him to get up; he balks at wearing a Santa suit. Is it because he doesn’t identify with Santa or because putting the suit on is a pain in the ass? After embarrassing himself, Jimmy is sent away by mob boss and lifelong friend Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris). Harris is two years older than Neeson, in case you were wondering (I was). Within a few hours, this Lifetime movie bond will be broken when Jimmy shoots Shawn’s son while defending his own son, Mike (Joel Kinnaman).
Mike and Jimmy haven’t spoken in years; now they can bond over homicide, awwww. The police are corrupt, of course, so Jimmy has no choice but to pal around, aiding and abetting pop for an evening on the town. Kinda gives new meaning to “painting the town red,” huh? Jimmy assures Mike that everything will resolve by the morning. I’m not sure why he assumes things are better once dawn breaks, but it does give credence to the title Run All Night.
Sure, there are other problems with the story – how does this broken-down jackass keep not only himself, but his son and family alive when Shawn has set his entire posse on them? Heck, I was even skeptical of the moment that prompts all the action: a bad guy is given a bag and opens it to find rolls of Monopoly money. I’m not quite sure why this moment is in the film. It’s not funny. It doesn’t take the bad guy off guard. It doesn’t speak well of either party, but most of all, where do you get 
a bag full of Monopoly money? They only have that one small wad in each game box. I suppose you could buy several hundred boxes or copy and print your own, but who would do that? Who would counterfeit Monopoly money?
Don’t let the standard Frog distractions mar your enjoyment. At its heart, this is a tale of a couple guys trying to live out the night in NYC, not unlike The Warriors. The script is better than it isn’t. Ed Harris and Liam Neeson are both watchable. There are also some very nice performances by Boyd Holbrook as the Monopoly banker (and, oh yeah, the guy Jimmy kills to start this mess) and Common as the rival hit man. Just try to get past St. RiNickulous and you’ll be ok.
♪Now come on Schindler,
No chance to quit-ler
You have to stay upright
You’re gonna move all night
Lurch to the side, then keel anew
Stumble forward like you’re full of brew
Clomp ahead and then some buffle
Hey, hey, hey do the Liam Shuffle
Good Lord, man; that is some kerfuffle
Hey, hey, hey do the Liam Shuffle♫
Rated R, 114 Minutes
D: Jaume Collet-Serra
W: Brad Inglesby
Genre: Pissin’ off the mob
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Repentant ex-mob hit men, maybe?
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Cops
♪ Parody inspired by “Harlem Shuffle”
