Piku is the very worst idea for a film I’ve encountered in several years. It’s possible that this is the worst idea of all time, but invoking that thought would require a painful amount of research, all of it unpleasant.
The film opens with house patriarch Bashkor Ba (Amitabh Bachchan) talking about his failure to poop. “Ok,” I’m thinkin’…”that’s not the way I would have opened my film, but I guess we’re trying to achieve ‘relatable’ and ‘pedestrian.’ Those are things one looks for in a screenplay, right?” So you’ve made your little shit-chat, now time for an actual film to commence. Daughter Piku (Deepika Padukone) takes a taxi to work; she’s so Type A that her driver has a fender-bender from her instruction. Been ten minutes and this is the good character … sure hope she does something endearing eventually. While meeting with clients, Piku gets a message from her father about the size and coloration of his recent bowel movements. Uh oh. I don’t like where this is headed.
Yes, for two solid hours, the main topic of conversation in Piku is Bashkor’s constipation. We explore it from the angle of diet. We explore it from the angle of mastication. We explore it from the angle of biology. We explore it from the angle of mechanics. Piku and Bashkor road trip and bring along his special poop chair. There is never a time at which Bashkor isn’t comfortable talking about his “motions” — morning, afternoon, dinner time, one-on-one, mixed company, whatevs. This wasn’t even bathroom humor; this was constant talk of going to the bathroom.
What the Hell, India? Really?! What the HELL?!?! You don’t allow nudity or sex on the screen, but there’s no taboo on dumpage? I know Americans don’t lack for “What the Hell?” cultural idiocies, but just know we’re not alone. Not by a long shot.
I’d describe other things in this film, but honestly there weren’t many. Piku and Bashkor decide to road trip from Delhi to Calcutta (40-45 hours of driving), making the reluctant cab company owner (Irrfan Khan) drive. Why he does anything with Piku is a mystery – all of his drivers hate her; the accidents indirectly caused by her personality are a common side-effect of her bullying. Her response? “I need a car, 8 p.m. sharp. *click*” Charming, miss. Towards the end of the film, 
we sort-of discover Piku’s abrasiveness is probably a result of her father talking about his bowels all the time. Well, that and the fact that he doesn’t want her to marry – being married just means cooking and cleaning for somebody, right? So, what makes more sense than cooking and cleaning for the guy responsible for your birth?
It’s possible I rated this film too high.
Whenever I see an Indian film, I expect Bollywood. I know that’s unrealistic. India makes plenty of films and only a percentage of them have song and dance numbers. I’m generally much more partial to those. However, I am grateful for lack of Bollywood, here. Can you imagine 17 production numbers about taking a dump? How would you even choreograph those numbers?
Widower Bashkor has a permanent snit
Always at odds with his bathroom sit
Endless constipation
Great conversation
About your issues, I don’t give a shit
Not Rated, 123 Minutes
D: Shoojit Sircar
W: Juhi Chaturvedi
Genre: The buddy road pic where adventures replaced with crap shop talk
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Proctologists, maybe?
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Snackers
