No clocks were injured in the filming of this movie.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film made entirely out of b-roll, have you? Welcome to The Reason Americans Don’t Take Foreign Film Seriously. Here’s a 90-minute picture with no lines of dialogue, no plot and a main character who dies half-way through the film. You will think I’m making this up when I tell you what passes for cinema in some parts of the world: we meet a goat herder with a bad cold. Cold turns out to be TB, not that anybody ever tells us … it’s just a man about 180-years old coughing alongside his goats. One day he loses his medicine, and *poof* no more old guy. He wasn’t very interesting; he was sickly; now he’s dead.
And courageously, the film goes on without him. That’s right – lacking a hero, a motive, a plot, dialogue or anything people might go to movies for, this plucky little piece of crap just keeps rolling along like a really boring Energizer Bunny. As if the camera forgot to stop filming, it decides to focus on the goats the old man left behind. When the camera has finally had enough of this torture, we watch people carve a huge tree into an elaborate bonfire. The end.
(Just in case you’re wondering how or why this film was made, there’s a “Circle of Life” message here for those paying attention.)
I would love to make a scientific study. Make people sit in chairs looking straight ahead. On one half of the screen in front of them, show The Four Times. On the other, show a clock, a clock without a second hand, no less. Then record where their eyes look. I guarantee the clock will get more attention. Guarantee. Even among non-Americans. If you can find this title, pursue & peruse at your own peril.
Rated ‘P’ for Pretentious, 88 Minutes
D: Michelangelo Frammartino
W: Michelangelo Frammartino
Genre: Ennui
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The purist. The critic for whom artistic attempt eclipses any attempt to entertain.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Humans
