Esseff, do you ever have fun at the movies? Yes. Yes, I do. I’m glad you asked. The sheer volume of film has not made me immune to enjoyment. It’s not like you build up an immunity to things you enjoy. It’s more like a junkie-with-crack situation. And HEY! I can quit movies any time I want! But I got a good fix from Anna and the Apocalypse, a truly fun experience that can be summed up neatly in one thought: imagine High School Musical with zombies.
This would be the part where you can stop reading; if you can’t tell from the end of that paragraph whether or not you want to see this film, I envy your ambiguity. It is the stuff of legend. Tell me, do you still find it difficult to know whether or not Trump was the right choice in 2016? It would take me years of sensory deprivation to avoid an opinion on said subject.
Turns out Scottish high school sucks just like ours. Best friends Anna (Ella Hunt) and John (Malcolm Cumming) know all too well. John gets picked on by bullies, proving you’re never too old or too large to get a good school hazing. Meanwhile, Anna has just dropped the bomb to dad that she’s opting for a year in Australia instead of college. And as with any good musical, they get to sing their blues away, upbeat cafeteria style – “Umm, yes, I’d like the Tuesday Surprise, the Monster Mash, and Friday I’m in Love.” The Monster Mash is oddly relevant here, cuz the undead have risen, although unfortunately for them, their vocals are a little raspy; we’re gonna have to rely on the living to belt out the good stuff.
I should point out here that I saw Anna and the Apocalypse on the same day that I saw Vox Lux, a movie about a pop singer; the music was better in Anna. Much better.
The second song is an audience warning, “(There’s no such thing as a) Hollywood Ending.” Is the heroine gonna eat it in this one – or should I say, get eaten? No time to worry about that quite yet; while the kids were sleeping, the Apocalypse did indeed break out en masse. Unaware of the surrounding carnage, Anna wakens and greets the day with new resolve, belting out positive energy to the tune “Turning My Life Around” while the streets behind her path are replete with undead battle. FWIW, this is my favorite juxtaposition in 2018 film.
Oh hi, kids. The good news is I think that bio quiz has been cancelled. The bad news is I hope you studied bio anyway, because it may help you literally survive the school day. These Mean Girls are really mean. Ahh, the moment when a high school film challenges what’s worse: social pariah-dom or the end of life as we know it? Tough call. All I can say is everything goes better with a decent musical number and Apocalypse has a few to spare as the population dwindles to spares.
If there’s one problem with a zombie musical, it’s that –for some unknown reason- the music doesn’t tend to be so upbeat once people start dying. That said, Anna and the Apocalypse is one of my favorite watches in 2018. I can’t call it a great film or a great musical, but I guarantee there exists a cult of Shaun of the Dead types who will. This is a great film to see with your crowd, whatever that crowd may be. And I hope y’all survive the night.
♪First class I had a pop quiz, I almost fell apart
And then the prom queen bit me, doubly stopping my heart
Now I apply Oxy 10 frantically
Why must I be a teenager zombie?♫
Rated R, 97 Minutes
Director: John McPhail
Writer: Alan McDonald, Ryan McHenry
Genre: Zombie fun
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who has ever had the thought that a zombie apocalypse would be better than that calculus midterm
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People only into documentaries of events that have already happened
♪ Parody Inspired by “Teenager in Love”
