You know that part in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern rants about the flora: “You have plants right here in this building, for example, that are poisonous. You picked them because they look pretty, but these are aggressive living things that have no idea what century they’re living in and will defend themselves. Violently, if necessary.” You know the film. Do you remember that scene?
Imagine making an entire movie about just the plants in Jurassic Park and you might have something like Little Joe, a film where the genetically engineered flowers are a danger to all.
I figured flower shops and, perhaps, FTD, went all out for flower shows, but this scene has them all beat: a scientific horticultural lab developing products for the new age of plant ownership. I don’t doubt that these things happen; I just can’t believe there’s any money in it. Think of what it costs to rent out glass house property in London and hire technicians to create …flowers. Tell me, exactly how many technicians work at, say, the Beanie Baby factory? And every time you “grow” a Beanie Baby, imagine that it has to stay in its own individual space absorbing sun so you can’t just dump it on a heap. I’m trying to get at exactly how much one individual might spend for a flower that would justify the expense of custom design.
Horticultural scientist Alice (Emily Beecham) has a good idea of what people are looking for. This English workaholic and lost Weasley sibling has bred a sterile red flower that “makes you feel good.” The new breed, Little Joe, needs lots of attention, but in return releases chemicals that make humans content. Congratulations Alice, you’ve just created a living Tamagotchi.
As if it wasn’t warning sign enough that Alice deliberately created plants designed to mess with human emotion, all Little Joe’s hothouse companions die the exact day after the Little Joes reach maturity. Hmmm,
that seems like a coincidence … nah. Unimpressed, our scientific Heat Miser brings a Little Joe home to her teenage son, Joe (Kit Connor), because what teenage boy doesn’t love getting the gift of a plant?
Lost in all of this is Alice’s lab partner, Chris (Ben Whishaw, who’s been looking for love ever since Bright Star). Remember The Onion article “Lab Partner Wants to Be Sex Partner?” That. Chris is so into Alice, he forgives whatever “safety protocols” have been dropped in flower production (pfft, who needs ‘em?) and also forgive that Alice only seems to wear clothes based on which ones will clash horribly with the orange mop she’s chosen to top her head.
Basically, plants engineered to be good turn out not-so-good. Couldn’t see that one coming, could ya? I could generously call this film either “Jurassic Park Lite” and not-so-generously call it “The Happening, Part II.” Writer/director Jessica Hausner has some great camera angles in this film, often shooting above the plants and capturing their insidious movement. It’s not every director who can put the horror in horrorticulture. The odd soundtrack of slidewhistle, bongo, and steel drum adds to an over whelming sense of foreboding. “Why” you may ask “did a film about plants influencing brain waves have a kung fu style soundtrack? Dunno, but we know from Act I, Scene I there’s something wrong here and we can’t put our tentacles on what it is. Little Joe isn’t a great film, and obviously reminded me of better ones (and worse ones), but for atmosphere and cinematography, I’ll give it a pass.
♪I’m Mrs. Heat Miser
I’m Mrs. Sun
That Little Joe flower’s
My more expressive young ‘un
I engineer flora
Whatever I cross
Takes over like a boss
It’s no loss♫
Not Rated, 105 Minutes
Director: Jessica Hausner
Writer: Géraldine Bajard, Jessica Hausner
Genre: Beware of flora
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Horticulturists
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Horticulturists
♪ Parody Inspired by “Mr. Heatmiser”
