In tennis, killing a service judge is bad form. I think that’s a universal truth. Question is, should there be a corresponding penalty of some sort? I mean, does killing a man with a tennis ball count as involuntary manslaughter or do you just yell: “OUT!”
It’s not every day you get a mockumentary, and even fewer of those days come with a mockumentary that will make you laugh a lot. Hence, I’m fairly pleased with 7 Days in Hell, a fake docudrama cataloging a week-long opening-round Wimbledon match between daft favorite Charles Poole (Kit Harrington) and newly unretired near-champion and personification of an STD, Aaron Williams (Andy Samberg).
The narrative for this idiocy is classic ESPN style, which sells the documentary part perfectly – interviews with Serena Williams, Chris Evert, John McEnroe, and Jim “I don’t even like tennis” Lampley pace the ridiculous with measured acceptance as if this story were real. The material is presented exactly as if this series of events and the people in-the-know gave their honest reactions. While the match is between Poole and Williams, the film is really about the character of Aaron Williams, whom Serena claims is her adopted brother in a “reverse The Blind Side.”
As if that punchline weren’t enough, Andy Samberg has single-handedly mocked the tennis world by portraying Aaron Williams as a cross between Andre Agassi and Dennis Rodman. Except even Rodman is more civilized. Let me stop here. I’m not fond of Samberg. He comes from that Will Ferrell comedic acting school that says if you’re not over-the-top, you shouldn’t bother showing up. And he’s not as good at it as Ferrell. Many times, I think Andy is his own worst enemy. Gee, Andy, I might have enjoyed that scene/sketch if you’d just toned it down a notch. Here, however, Andy’s long-haired, air-guitar prancing, coked-up persona ideally lambastes the genre. The biggest problem with sports documentaries are the personalities. Most are dull as dirt. Do we really give a crap that Fernando Valenzuela breathed out of his eyeballs like a lava lizard? Of course not; we just enjoyed the fact that for once a real life baseball player said something you might repeat … ever.
Oh, and Williams’ story is damn funny, from his championship meltdown after killing a guy at triple match point to his Swedish incarceration to his Day 1 Jordache designer cut-off jeans outfit. 7 Days in Hell had my attention for exactly as long as a sports documentary should have your attention – about 43 minutes. Anything less and it wasn’t big enough; anything more and you’re interviewing Pete Rose on what he thinks of his bowl cut. I think this mockumentary’s biggest fault, if any, is the same fault I have with almost any filmed tennis: I don’t really believe either Andy Samberg or Kit Harrington is actually talented enough to fake tennis greatness. The film gets away with this by 1) not showing a whole lot of genuine tennis; the seven days are mostly distraction and 2) filming at a distance for anything requiring verifiable skillz.
I cannot stress this point enough: this is not a comedy for everybody. If you let your children watch 7 Days in Hell, expect them to ask you questions about orgies and streaking and rampant drug abuse. If you’re ok with that, well, heck, bring the kids and watch 43 minutes of heaven.
If Hulu you’re willing to binge
Here’s a piece right on the fringe
Two foes in a fray
Play tennis all day
The viewer wins: game, set, and cringe
Rated TV-MA, 43 Minutes
Director: Jake Szymanski
Writer: Murray Miller
Genre: The one where people are horrified and amused at the same time
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People unafraid of computerized orgy simulations
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Everybody else
