It has been twenty-two years since Tom Hanks Saved Private Ryan. Decades later, he’s still fighting WWII and he’s still a captain. That strikes me as kind of sad. However, maybe it comes with switching from army to navy which probably wasn’t easy. Twenty-two years from now, I fully expect Air Force Cap’n Hanks to be involved in the Battle of the Bulge.
Earlier this year, Apple TV launched and presented as its one and only prize Greyhound, a Tom Hanks World War II action film. Hanks not only wrote the film, but plays the titular hero “U.S.S. Greyhound.” I kid. The boat’s name was “Keeling.” Commander of the Keeling, Ernest Krause (Hanks) , had the unenviable task of escorting cargo ships through the U-Boat infested waters of the Atlantic. I suppose it’s not unlike escorting a group of schoolchildren through the zoo, except the lions are loose and perpetually hungry.
To be fair, the Germans prefer the metaphor of “Grey Wolf.” This was really unfortunate -almost CFL like- nomenclature considering their battle with “Greyhound;” could you guys not have named yourselves something else? This is like two girls showing to prom in the same dress. Anyhoo, a particularly nasty U-Boat is simply identified as “Grey Wolf;” after each kill, it taunts Greyhound –Keeling’s call sign- and the rest of the armada with locker room insults and childish howling. Those guys suck. I wouldn’t normally give much credence to a faceless villain, but it works here. There’s something about having an invisible but lethal enemy omnipresent that keeps terror consistently in the forefront. The fact that it wears no face allows for the imagination to run amok.
However, it also means there’s one less character on a screen that already shows Hanks 90% of the time. Greyhound is such a clean, pure action film that Hanks screen-hogging makes little difference. If there aren’t any other navy guys with identities and backstories, that’s a bad thing if you’re retelling Pearl Harbor, but here it works just fine – put Hanks on a boat, show me some lethal U-Boat threats and there’s 90 minutes of movie right there. 
Can Greyhound defeat the unseen enemy, or will the wolf howl another time? Probably worth note that this action takes place in February of 1942; at the time, the Germans had been at war for years. The Americans joined in two months previous. Commander Krause was on his first mission. Uh oh.
So this film is a little Private Ryan and a little Captain Phillips, no? In fact, now I want to see Barkhad Abdi take on Grey Wolf. Maybe he can hijack the ship only to realize that it’s being preyed upon. How’s that sound? Seriously, Greyhound was thrilling if one-dimensional. It works because it didn’t try to be anything other than an action film. The movie kisses off Elisabeth Shue three minutes in and (effectively) never looks back … which is fine. I don’t think Greyhound would have worked if the film were longer or brought out secondary characters. So, as is, the script was too limited to promise greatness, but the film succeeded in doing the only thing it promised, and that should be good enough for most audiences.
“We’ve got a Tom Hanks thriller you can only see here!” Apple sure knows how to sell a product, don’t it?
Most find these cruises a bore
But look what they have in store
I know y’all are fond
Of a trip ‘cross the pond
If it wasn’t for this gosh darn war
Rated PG-13, 91 Minutes
Director: Aaron Schneider
Writer: Tom Hanks
Genre: “You sank my Battleship”
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: WWII junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Jealous icebergs
