Once upon a time, “South Park” was my favorite TV show – so clever, so daring, so envelope-pushing, so freaking hilarious. I rank South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut among the top five musicals in movie history. I’m not qualifying that at all.
In the past decade, however, I stopped watching “South Park” entirely. Did I find a life beyond the puerile humor expressed through foul-mouthed nine-year-olds? Aw, heck no. But I did evolve and the show didn’t. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have survived with a politically neutral attack on all, but stakes are a little more serious in a world so willing to re-embrace fascism, and the South Park brand of nihilistic “everybody sucks” humor just doesn’t cut it anymore, and that is precisely what’s wrong with South Park: Post COVID … well, that and the fact that it just wasn’t all that good.
Stan Marsh (voice of Trey Parker) is now middle-aged and balding. Get it? We’re not yet in the Post-COVID era, and it has clearly lasted over thirty years. I might find that funny if I weren’t livid about how poorly the pandemic has been handled. And let’s be clear – the blame for rampant and continued pain lies squarely on the shoulders of influencers who spoke about it from non- or mock-scientific POVs. I’m mostly talking about trolls and Trump here. No, they didn’t start the disease, but COVID could have been -heck, it could still be- a lot less painful if the idiots didn’t have megaphones. Now we can add the South Park gang to this pile. Stan is now a loser, plain and simple … and a sour one at that. He doesn’t seem to have and friends, hobbies, or reason to smile, and he’s constantly hounded by his hologram/shrew of a wife, Amazon Alexa (Delilah Kujala), a figure that exists just so Stan can keep saying, “ALEXA STOP!”
Stan has removed himself from South Park, but now returns for the funeral of childhood friend, Kenny. This is a recurring gag as Kenny has died on the show literally dozens of times. Despite the deaths and constant spontaneous reincarnations, Kenny grew up to be an important scientist; was his death a murder? Better get the band back together.
The film takes for granted that we will sympathize with Stan despite the fact that Stan has grown up to be an asshole. OK, how about Stan’s former BFF, Kyle Broflovski (Matt Stone)? Hmmm, adult Kyle seems OK … except he has a problem with Cartman. Eric Cartman is the best character in “South Park.” As the nine-year-old embodiment of pure evil, Eric will literally say or do anything to get what he wants. For example, we know he’s not above racism, sexism, classism, ageism, religious persecution, bigotry, or –heck- mass genocide if there’s a prize waiting. We tolerate Cartman and laugh at his antics for three reasons: 1) He’s nine. Maybe he’ll grow out of it. 2) His outrageous behavior drives every plot. 3) He’s a fantastic anti-hero. Cartman voices White Supremacists, Mansplainers, Neo-Nazis, and many other groups that should be marginalized. Cartman is exactly whom not to be.
In the age of a Trump, Cartman just isn’t that funny any more. Cartman is entertaining when Neo-Nazis or narcissistic buffoons don’t have a voice. In the age where elected deplorables make headlines every day, Cartman no longer exposes potential evil, he reinforces the worst of human behavior. And adult Cartman’s storyline? He has shed his evil ways, embraced Judaism, married a woman named “Yentl” (yes, Yentl), and is father to three. Fantastic. Cartman is no longer funny, nor an anti-role model, but he still brings out the worst in Kyle, who is under the impression that Cartman is faking it.
That’s four main characters from the show, and all of them suck. Wow, it’s possible I wasn’t hard enough on this film.
South Park: Post-COVID has a few running gags of various effect. One is a gimmick in which most everything inane (like a singing doorbell) is prefaced with the words, “It’s the future, so…” This has the effect of being so condescending to a potentially stupid audience that it circles around at being sorta clever. I feel like this a classic South Park language trick. Another is the evolution of comedy itself. Jimmy Vamler, the gimp-legged stutterer among the pals, has grown up to become a notable stand up comedian. All of Jimmy’s jokes, however, begin with a classic non-PC set-up (e.g. “A Jew, a Christian, and a Buddhist walk into a bar…”) and then end with something entirely wholesome (“… where they enjoy themselves and celebrate one another’s diversity”). These “jokes” are met with raucous laughter and thunderous applause. I suppose the gag here is that social enforcement of PC-dom has de-fanged all humor to the point where no jokes are funny. This PC observation seems mildly funny by itself until you fully remember that left-leaning comedians (i.e. those who restrict themselves to PC behavior) are A TON funnier than their right-leaning counterparts (i.e. those who do not). Go ahead, prove me wrong.
Of all the bad
subplots in the film, one stands below the rest. Stan’s mother and sister are long dead, victims of efforts to combat COVID in 2020. Stan meets up with his estranged father in the film and these two war over whose fault it is. This film is a comedy, right? What part of any of that seems humorous in the least? Maybe I just don’t get future humor.
I don’t doubt “South Park” fans will find this all very amusing. Personally -given my previous adoration of the franchise- I was willing to go along with it until the deliberately neutral tone appeared again with the repeated phrase: “chin-diaper.” The only persons who use such a term side with anti-science idiocy. Yes, I see you making fun of the anti-vaxxer character. Not good enough. There aren’t two sides of a pandemic. You either do what we need to do as a society to get rid of it, or you’re in the way.
For years, “South Park” has been on the front lines of topicality, unafraid of political discussion or backlash – they’ve taken on hot-button issues in real time such as the Florida recount, climate change, and the Washington Redskins. South Park: Post COVID was meant at least in small part to comment on the politics of COVID; you don’t make a film like this without having that in mind. Here’s the problem – if you’re going to discuss the politics of COVID, you MUST include discussion of the idiot President who politicized the pandemic (who does that?!) and the misinformation campaign that the orange jackass led and inspired. Anything less is wholly disingenuous. On said topic, South Park: Post COVID failed completely. And this, essentially, is why I stopped watching “South Park” a decade ago. At this place at this time, there is no left equivalent or Trump, QAnon, Fox News, or White Supremacy. These powerful fascism-bound political forces don’t mirror anything in the world of the left and those who say they do are either suckers or trolls. Hence … when you go full topical and conclude “everybody sucks” as “South Park” so often does – this film being no exception- you espouse not only a classic tool of the modern right (a false equivalency), but also an errant nihilism that feeds the campaign of lies. “All politicians lie, how is Trump any different?” Does that sound familiar? If that’s something you’ve ever concluded, you really, really, really need to reexamine facts. This film isn’t helping anybody … and it wasn’t funny so much as depressing to see what zeroes all of the “South Park” gang has become.
You might find this commentary stark
I assure you, it’s neither jest nor lark
One fact I must tell:
The ninth circle of Hell
Has got nothing on Colorado’s South Park
Rated TV-MA, 59 Minutes
Director: Trey Parker
Writer: Brian Graden, Trey Parker, Matt Stone
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: “South Park” junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who need you to choose a side
