What do you think about Romeo Montague, serial philanderer? Gotta say, it makes sense to me. Romeo is the yardstick for romance from the CIS male perspective. His words are poetry, his actions are romantic perfection (not reality perfection or sensibility perfection, mind you, romantic perfection). But … he’s a teen. Ignoring the thought that teens aren’t capable of romance … clearly, many are … how many teen boys get romance right the first time, hmmm? I’m just sayin’. Do you really think Juliet is the first one Romeo worked on? Well the people who made this film sure didn’t.
Rosaline Capulet (Kaitlyn Dever), cousin of Juliet Capulet (Isabela Merced), is smitten with Romeo (Kyle Allen) … and, to be fair, vice-versa. Romeo gives the “sun, moon, and stars” bull to Rosaline days prior to his meet with Juliet. Also, to be fair, Rosaline fails Romeo not once but twice. When he hits her with the “I love you” moment, Rosaline has no reaction. Bad move, girl. And when the Capulet masquerade ball happens, darn Rosaline is stuck on a boat. At this point, it doesn’t matter how taken you are with Romeo, you’re practically asking him to wander … which he does.
In 1966, Tom Stoppard wrote a comedrama called Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead (it later was made into a movie starring Gary Oldman and Tim Roth long before anyone knew either man). The idea was enhancing two minor characters in Hamlet and showing their lives while the troubled Danish prince did his brooding in the background. The idea here is very similar. While Rosaline is not a character in Romeo and Juliet (she gets mention early on, but has no lines), she exists full throttle in their romantic backdrop as an unseen manipulator.
And Rosaline has her own perspective; she’s not just waiting around for Romeo & Juliet to define young romance; Rosaline is actively undermining Juliet in order to get Romeo back. Sorry, Rosy, that train has sailed, baby. Speaking of sailing trains, the boat Rosaline literally catches while figuratively missing is owned by Dario (Sean Teale), a suitor unwillingly thrust upon her. Well, I think we can all see this one coming, right? Does it help that Dario is handsome, hunky, piss poor, and younger than every other Rosaline suitor by decades? You know it does.
So there are two effective storylines running through this film: The first is Rosaline’s reluctant romance with Dario. This storyline works sparingly; we’ve seen most of this before … the biggest difference here is how long it takes Rosaline to realize Dario is a better match for her than Romeo (something the audience will catch much sooner). Would you call that an
advantage over standard reluctant romance? I wouldn’t. The second is Rosaline’s constant attempts to insert herself into the runaway freight train romance that is Romeo and Juliet. I wasn’t sold on this until the very end … and then an after scene in the credits not only sold me; it made the film a solid winner for me.
Please, if you see this film, do not shut off once the credits start; make sure you stay for a very The Graduate-like scene in that omnipresent boat of Dario’s.
This is a darn good companion piece to Romeo & Juliet. I dunno what Romeo & Juliet the kids are consuming these days, the original play, the Zeferelli classic, West Side Story, the Leonardo DiCaprio/Claire Danes vehicle, but whichever they do, I would recommend seeing Rosaline in conjunction; although this film is not destined to be a classic, I think it offers a fair and amusing commentary on the original Shakespeare.
Well Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?
Are you hiding secrets within your trou?
Juliet may be the sun
And she could be your only one
Yet I’m betting you have used that line ere now
Rated PG-13, 95 Minutes
Director: Karen Maine
Writer: Scott Neustadtler, Michael H. Weber
Genre: Not-a-fan fiction
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: High schoolers forced to read Romeo & Juliet … again
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Shakespearean purists
