Aren’t all relationships tragic? This is a truism I learned recently. No matter what love you feel now, eventually it is going to become heartbreak one way or another. And this is true of every relationship that ever was, is, or will be; they are all destined for heartache. Sad but true. Today’s film is about one that ended sooner than it should have, the mildly biographical gay romance of Michael Ausielo and his partner Kit Cowan.
I hate to ask, but is it just that much easier to find somebody when you’re gay? Intuitively, that makes no sense whatsoever, and yet let me compare/contrast. Here’s my impression of a CIS romance on screen:
Act I: Meetcute, relationship barrier arises
Act II: Couple proves own worst enemy. Couple fails to connect for … reasons.
Act III: Couple finally realizes this is bullshit, but erects one last seemingly unpassable barrier to frustrate audience before giving in. Then couplehood.
Here’s my impression of lesbian/gay romance on screen:
Act I: Meetcute. Hot sex. Couplehood. Relationship before weekend starts.
Act II: Trouble with everybody they have to tell about their romance
Act III: Couple finally realizes there are potential compatibility issues from willingness to accept partnerhood to AIDS. Relationship probably ends in tragic fashion.
The “cart before the horse” part of gay/lesbian relationships on film is what sticks out to me. CIS couple are all, “I dunno if he’s right for me, after all I’m half-fish-turned-human and lost my voice, but he’s totally hot!” Gay/lesbian are more like, “He’s totally hot. Ok, so I’m a merman and that guy is a water buffalo … screw it; I’m all in. Let’s work out the deets l8r.”
I don’t know this to be true; it’s just my impression, and it is reinforced by the gay relationship in Spoiler Alert, a film which tells us right off the bat that this is gonna end with Kit (Ben Aldridge) dying from cancer at age TOO YOUNG. Gotta say, the film is aptly titled.
The joy of Spoiler Alert is, luckily, not the fact that we know the ending; it’s knowing the ending and wanting to get there anyway. Lemme explain – none of us wants to see a young man die from cancer, but we feel better knowing he was loved and loved well. Michael Ausiello (writer and author of the source material) is a nerd. He goes to gay bars in a baseball hat to hide his awkwardness, but it shows through anyway. At one bar, Michael (Jim Parsons) meets a much better looking man, Kit, who -apparently- digs the nerd act. We all have our things, no?
Now despite early relationship hesitancy and an emergency call and the fact that Kit came to the bar and left with a non-Michael date, these two still hook-up ten minutes in. WTF? Cuz, I’m learning, the conflict in
gay/lesbian matchups is never compatibility (not initially, at least); it always seems to be bravery – which partner won’t admit they’re really gay to either themselves or their relatives? That is the case here. It takes a healthy 40 minutes for Kit to admit to parents Sally Field and Bill Irwin that he’s gay. Oh well.
In the mean time, we have the funniest red flag I’ve perhaps, ever seen. Ever. I will not spoil this; all I can say is there’s a reason Michael doesn’t want to bring Kit home … and it is AWESOME.
I didn’t like Spoiler Alert quite as much as Bros. I liked the couple here a little better, but I didn’t think it reached the consistent humor of Bros. Also, Spoiler Alert. We already know what’s gonna happen. However, Michael and Kit are a lovely couple and close to my favorite in the year of romance on film. Spoiler Alert is sweet and sad and moving. I’m not sure I’ll remember much of it tomorrow, but that’s a good thing; we’re getting to the point where gay/lesbian couplehood is about the couplehood, not the gay/lesbian, and that’s a major step in the direction of modern entertainment.
A film about gay men getting hurt
When they opt for something more than simple flirt
Don’t say I’m offending
By giving the ending
Can anyone truly spoil Spoiler Alert?
Rated PG-13, 112 Minutes
Director: Michael Showalter
Writer: David Marshall Grant, Dan Savage
Genre: The continued normalization of LGBTQ into everyday entertainment
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: LGBTQ
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Well I was going to say “MAGA,” cuz all the hate trolls flock to mar imdb voting for all films sponsoring LGBTQ, but it didn’t look like … wait, there it is. More “1” votes than “10” votes. There is no way an objective voter gives this film a “1.” Yup, MAGA it is.
