Is putting a different film title in your own title self-defeating? I mean, if I made a film entitled “Bogie: A Casablanca Story” wouldn’t you naturally ask, “why not just watch Casablanca?” This is the dilemma I come to when discussing Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. I feel like veryone who has seen it NEEDS to add their own review of “it’s good, but not as good as Knives Out.” While this is indeed true, I don’t think it should detract from the picture nearly as much as it does.
The tragedy here is that in comparing Glass Onion to Knives Out (they share the same writer/director, Rian Johnson, a similar theme, and one character, roving detective Benoit Blanc, but that’s it), diminishes Glass Onion, a fully realized success in its own right … and Onion couldn’t be more relevant as it skewers, ABSOLUTELY skewers, a billionaire douchebag. You could have starred Elon Musk as the focal villain instead of Edward Norton and the film couldn’t be any more relevant.
Glass Onion is not unlike an Agatha Christie tale. A jet-setting billionaire, Miles Bron (Norton) summons a group of friends to his exclusive private island for a playtime murder-mystery weekend. And, wouldn’t you know it? All the jerks he’s invited want him dead … or maybe they all need him alive; I’m not quite sure which. All I know is you can rest assured somebody will be murdered this weekend, and invited/uninvited guest detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is likely gonna have to ID the killer; well what did you expect him to do, espionage?
I swear the weakest part of every murder mystery is arranging a series of weak douchebags so vile you can easily see all of them murdering somebody. I suppose this just has to be the case; you really don’t want murderers you empathize with, amIright? Still, the arrangement of Kathryn Hahn, Leslie Odom Jr., Kate Hudson, and Dave Bautista all as people you’d happily see locked away was a little much. Ah, murder mysteries. And yet, even though we wade through a sea of mediocrity, head douchebag honors still go to the host, Miles, as the intellectually overrated and morally bankrupt emcee 
billionaire. And this film exactly coinciding with Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter is perfection – whatever we thought of Elon before, his name is now mud for catastrophic business decisions and his desire to “both sides” a world in which he always tilts the scale to the Right and then claims foul for being called on it. That is almost exactly who Miles Bron is – the kind of guy who rents the Mona Lisa just for the prestige; he cares nothing about it as a work of art, just what it means that he has it.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery has been criticized for having a “weak” mystery. And, strictly speaking, as Agatha Christie wannabes go, that’s both relevant and significant. However, there’s far too much going on behind the scenes to make that the chief concern in the enjoyment of the picture. And, let’s face it; you’re not 12 anymore, are you? You don’t need the denouement where the noted detective sits everybody down in a locked room and discusses how they’re all pieces of shit, but this guy nobody’s paying attention to did it in a way only I noticed, do you? Glass Onion is a winner. There’s a lot to love about this film from several good performances to even throwaway moments of outrageous opulence, like when Serena Williams is just there because the rich guy has made it happen. I’m on the fence between “this is a good film” and “this is a great film.” I wish it weren’t going to be chalked up to “Knives Out’s younger brother,” but at this rate, I hope there are several more Knives Out mysteries to come.
Blanc has returned to detect
A playdate gone quite incorrect
There’s a pool of exploiters
And champion loiters
Where everybody is already suspect
Rated PG-13, 139 Minutes
Director: Rian Johnson
Writer: Rian Johnson
Genre: Cherishing/attacking opulence
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of classic mystery
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who want no more attention paid to any billionaire, real or fictitious
