Wouldn’t it be cool to switch it up a bit on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle origin story? I mean, if you’re gonna bother telling it in every.single.film, why not attribute it to something other than genetics-altering ooze? Maybe they’re aliens. Maybe it’s a gypsy’s curse. Maybe they’re magic. Maybe they’re just a bunch of weird dudes in silly turtle costumes. AII know is for as long as there will be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies there will be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle exposition; and the origin story doesn’t have a whole lot of variation in it.
However, in this edition of ooze origin theater, the glowing goo that created mutant turtles also made a whole slew of other mutated animals. That’s kinda fun, right? Usually, there’s just the rat and like a rhino and a warthog. In Mutant Mayhem, there are at least a dozen other creatures combining animal bodies with human 
size and intelligence. The bad guy is a mutated house fly. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The human-sized mutant turtles live in a New York City sewer; they’re teenagers; their master, a mutated rat named Splinter (voice of Jackie Chan) is a bit of a hard case. He knows all too well the pain that comes from mixing with humans, so he emphasizes avoidance and stealth behavior. He also has a weird phobia about being “milked.” The reptilian quartet, however, are NYC teens. It’s hard to tell such kids to fear and hide from all humans, especially when they’ve all got some kick-ass ninja self-preservation skills. In addition, it’s hard to stress avoidance when you live in public spaces, like sewer runoff cavities.
The turtles fancy themselves as superheroes and, well, if you’re gonna fight crime, you’re probably gonna meet some folks. Pretty soon, aspiring reporter April O’Neil (Ayo Edebiri) is in the picture. Hey, an April O’Neil of color! Good for you, movie. And there’s a mutant bowling party goin’ on, woo! Look! All sorts of gnarly mutant dudes ready, willing, and able to accept the turtles as is. Awwww, ain
’t that sweet?
And all our heroes have to do is go along with a plan by mutant leader Superfly (Ice Cube) to destroy humankind. Is that so much to ask? Luckily, despite their reptile brains, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aren’t big on homicidal fascism.
The feel of this pic is both unique and an asset. The animation style emulates Claymation without being so; it gives a better feel for the turtles than dudes in rubber suits or standard 2D animation. A big problem with past Turtle iterations is my inability to tell the turtles apart. This film did not have that problem. The Turtle personalities are still hauntingly similar, yet it’s clear that Leonardo (Nicolas Cantu) is the leader and the boys actually look slightly different when unmasked. I didn’t expect that. I can’t say I’m wild about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. For one thing, you put “Mutant” in the title twice, which strikes me as lazy … really lazy. Really, really lazy. However, this is the first iteration I’ve seen that I’d actually recommend. Enjoy it while you can, you silly reptiles.
Four heroes live down in the sewer
Yet aspire to thwart the evildoer
With all thing mutant turtle
Their iterations most fertile
My usual reaction is “fewer”
Rated PG, 99 Minutes
Director: Jeff Rowe, Kyler Spears
Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Jeff Rowe
Genre: Tales for adult children
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who is excited by the title alone
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Maybe you don’t like animation … mutants … Manhattan … sewers. Take your pick.
