Here, little girl, have some superpowers. And, hey, you, too, random boy. Do you guys know each other? It doesn’t matter. You will. Gee, I hope you both aren’t awkward middle-schoolers who find every new social interaction a chore, cuz that will make your “teaming up to save the world” a tad problematic.
What’s that? You’re extremely maladroit, non-dexterous you say? Hm. Better find some hand-eye coordination fast; you’re going to need it.
And thus begins my interpretation of French, animated, superhero musical Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie. The plot involves awkward two middle-schoolers in waaaaay over their heads, but they gotta find skillz and teamwork fast if they’re gonna save Paris. Although, look, if the Eiffel Tower becomes unstable and the giant ferris wheel near The Louvre becomes unmoored and tears down Les Champs-Elysées, one might just argue that Paris is already lost, dig? Hey, give ‘em a break; 7th graders have enough to worry about already.
Marinette (voice of Anouck Hautbois) tries to get through days without being noticed. Yeah, been there. And yet, she still backs into at least three disasters before first bell. Meanwhile, at the other end of school, there’s Adrien (Benjamin Bollen), who is hot and broody. It’s possible he’s preparing for a modeling career. Turns out, there’s a reason for the brood; he lost his mother. His increasingly distant father is obsessed with bringing his wife/Adrien’s mother back to life. Luckily, he’s very rich, so he can pull all sorts of outrageous crap without every being called on it. Gabriel (Antoine Tomé) uses the Butterfly Miraculous gem -whatever the Hell that is- to become Hawk Moth, so he can find another gem to restore his wife back to life. What is it about powerful people and their inability to absorb reality? Has this always been the case?
Seeing that Hawk Moth is now a thing, Wang Fu (Gilbert Lévy) releases some magic bugs that give Marinette and Adrien superpowers, cuz … why not? Marinette, as Ladybug, has the most delightful pajama costume and a magic yo-yo. Adrien, as Chat Noir, stands by doors and yowls until someone lets him out. And together they have the power to defeat Hawk Moth and some other randos recruited for the
evil. I swear one of the villains got plucked straight out of The Incredibles.
Can anyone be a superhero? No. And this kind of proves it. Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie too often describes kids who don’t know what they’re doing and definitely shouldn’t be alone confronting the evil of their day. The only thing that saves them from being maimed or killed is the “PG” rating. I cannot begin to describe how over-their-heads these kids are.
Does that matter? Probably not. They both have adorable outfits and seem amiable enough. Gotta say, I have a soft spot for this film because -while I’m not recommending it- Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie proved an ideal palate-cleanser after I subjected myself to Mandy on this particular evening. A goofy musical superhero cartoon about tweens proved exactly the antidote for the poison I’d just consumed. Can’t say this was a great film, but it was a great way to forget a miserable experience.
Two tweens are granted superpowers
These awkward buds may now bloom into flowers
But their employment is spotty
Like a sloth doing karate
To make any sense, it’s gonna take hours
Rated PG, 105 Minutes
Director: Jeremy Zag
Writer: Bettina Lopez Mendoza, Jeremy Zag
Genre: Jr. Avengers
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Misunderstood tweens
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The grateful among us who want to get the taste of Mandy out of their mouths
