Happy Madison used to be just a vehicle for crappy films, but it slowly evolved into the greatest tool for nepotism since the Trump White House. Want to star in a film despite a lack of talent, looks, or panache? Just be one of Adam Sandler’s kids. That’s all it takes.
Yes, I’m being harsh on both Sunny Sandler and Sadie Sandler, who are both almost certainly better to put on camera than I am, BUT, seriously, the world needs to be a little harsher here. Even in the Netflix realm, starring roles are coveted prizes that people vie for over and over and over ad infinitum. Casting calls to cosplay a sandwich in a commercial can take weeks out of an actor’s life. Hence, I’m not going to feel especially grinchy about mocking the sickening nepotism within the Happy Madison world. Is it a perk to become so big a movie star you have your own production company? Hell, yes. And now, we’re past the usual stable of comic mediocrity in the form of David Spade, Kevin James, and Chris Rock … with Rob Schneider kept behind “in case of emergency, break glass” casing; Happy Madison is now making movies starring -and almost certainly about- the Sandler children.
How was that carrot-and-stick, huh? “Eat your vegetables, Sadie, or you don’t get to star in my next film.”
You don’t have to be jealous to question, “What’s wrong with this picture?” But it helps.
Stacy Friedman (Sunny) is about to come of age as a member of the Hebrew tribe. Jr. High can be a fun time to be Jewish, fwiw; if you can sit through three hours of Torah recitation, there is no party in the world like a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I speak from decades of experience. Shalom! Like many teens, Stacy has a best friend, Lydia (Samantha Lorraine), and a crush, Andy (Dylan Hoffman). And also like many teens, Stacy ain’t so good at handling either relationship.
In the first major plot point, the kids all go to what has to be the same damn rock quarry in Grown Ups 2? Grown Ups 3? Grown Ups 4? I dunno. What I do know is the importance of milking successful locations for material again and again and again. Stacy literally takes the big plunge when all her peers proved wimpy which makes her a hero for exactly two seconds … the amount of time for a dislodged used maxi-pad to float to the surface. This kicks off an ugly-but-not-unrealistic
chain of events where Lydia and Andy start dating prompting Stacy to alienate Lydia and scheme to score Andy.
It is almost literally impossible to root for Lydia during any of this as, wronged or not, she is taking her pain out on her best friend and doing some really underhanded shit. And while Lydia is behaving so poorly, she’s also sabotaging her own bat mitzvah in terms of both patience and temperament. One smile to come out of this is when Rabbi Rebecca (Sarah Sherman, geez, Adam Sandler, did you already get your claws into the next round of “SNL” mediocrities?) changes into her “tough love” yarmulke, which sports a Misfits logo.
I found a lot of this film frustrating. Against my better judgment, I went all in rooting for Lydia to behave better and, hence, justify her own celebration. It takes a while. And there aren’t a whole lot of laughs in between. Yeah, I enjoyed the devotion to DJ Schmuley (Ido Mosseri) as the disc-spinner all the coming-of-age tribe kids gotta have. And one has to love the inclusion of Luis Guzmán as a member of the group. And if that did it for me, I’d be a better man. Overall, however, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah made me wish I hadn’t been.
There once was a girl named Sunny
A kid Adam Sandler called “Honey”
He gave her the floor
Chances are, she’ll get more
Even if the kid never proves funny
Rated PG-13, 103 Minutes
Director: Sammi Cohen
Writer: Alison Peck, Fiona Rosenbloom
Genre: Giving the kids a boost up
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Is your name “Sandler?”
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Antisemites, I imagine. But there’s also a healthy amount of natural loathing from the kind of people disgusted by Jared and Ivanka
