“Training” is a terrible word to put in a film title … especially if the film is not a comedy. Contextually, the word “training” by itself immediately leads to two additional questions: 1) What is the event our heroes being trained for (presumably something, by definition, of greater significance)? And 2) Why aren’t we watching that instead? The best one can hope for in a “Training” film is an extended and potentially tiresome montage a la the Rocky franchise.
There isn’t actually much training … or any training in the traditional sense in this film. It’s mostly dudes sitting around a table spouting exposition towards what hopefully is a better film to come.
For the uninitiated, which includes me, Demon Slayer (as I understand it) is about this kid, Tanjiro Kamado (voice of Natsuki Hanae) whose parents were killed by demons, so now -not unlike Donald Trump- he’s on a perpetual revenge tour. (Unlike Trump, Tanjiro has skills.) He seems to be wearing a fair amount of blood in this film. Sure you don’t want to get that cleaned up or something? No? OK.
In what turns out to be the only real-time action in the film, Tanjiro (coming off a battle the film didn’t show us) beheads a demon … only to have it continue to chase people around. See there’s a smaller demon hidden in the heart of the body of the bigger demon. It’s kinda like a demon turducken. Unluckily for Tanjiro, his vamp ladypal Nezuko picks this exact moment to hang out in the sunlight and die, thus forcing Tanjiro either to sit there and do nothing while Nezuko dies … instead of chasing down the muderous demon.
Considering the lack of options, this decision takes a painfully long amount of time. Don’t worry, the title of th
is film is Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – To the Hashira Training, so you know at least one demon gets slayed. Oh, and Nezuko is fine, too. A lot of tears were shed over nothing as -thanks to the slaying- the vamp suddenly acquires powers allowing her to exist in sunlight. This, too, takes a painfully long amount of time.
And then there’s “training” for the powerful Hashira for their big match against State this weekend. And I know you’re gonna think I’m making this up, but I’m not – this “training” is just a bunch of dudes sitting around in pursuit of exposition. Occasionally, there’s a “laugh,” by which I mean the pink one with the big chest overacts, but that’s about it. Oh, there’s a commitment to humor, but 100% of it is idiotic overreaction to a comment that wouldn’t raise an eyebrow otherwise.
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – To the Hashira Training is so obviously a transition film that even Demon Slayer fans are going to find it painfully slow and uneventful. Did anything real happen in this film past the first fifteen minutes? I’ll take the under on that one. Maybe the episodes have something to offer, but the movie sure didn’t. And after you explain to me how I’m wrong, add in an explanation of the R rating. One unexposed buxom chest (as seen above) doesn’t even merit a PG-13.
There once was a kid named Tanjiro
An orphan who started from zero
Grown up with a chip
Now he slays from the hip
And through my yawning, I’ll call him a hero
Rated R [Seriously?! Was there a hot sex scene when I nodded off?], 104 Minutes
Director: Haruo Sotozaki
Writer: Koyoharu Gotouge
Genre: For the love of God, please DO something!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: You gotta really, really love this anime
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who paid for it
