Why do I feel sheepish and apologetic for enjoying a Netflix original? In writing this, I feel ten years old again and curled up in a hiding place with a Mad Magazine and a cherry Jolly Rancher stick. Yes, they used to come in sticks; who knows if that design still happens? Now? I’m … not ten years old, and I can still be defensive for enjoying something I perhaps know I shouldn’t have enjoyed.
But I did enjoy Unfrosted. It was silly and uncomplicated and, dare I say? “Funny” – which, at the end of the day, is the only good reason to continue watching a comedy. A comedy anything.
Yeah, Netflix has a lousy reputation with original movies … but some their titles (The Killer, Leo, Society of the Snow) are perfectly good films, and Unfrosted is, IMHO, an another on the asset side of the Netflix ledger.
It is the 1960s and Jerry Seinfeld is apparently just hangin’ out at drugstore counters waiting for stray kids to show up. When one little boy sporting a not-uncomic bindle shows up looking for breakfast on the go, Bob Cabana (Seinfeld) offers to tell him the (true) story of Pop-Tarts. Who doesn’t love a Pop-Tart?
Why, sure, Jerry Seinfeld, I can run away from home later; tell me about Pop-Tarts.
So in 1963 -as the movie tells it- there is a battle in Battle Creek, Michigan, over breakfast supremacy. In one factory are the heroes, Kellogg’s, and in the rival factory are villains, Post. The Bowl and Spoon awards have just happened, with Kellogg’s sweeping the event, including the coveted “Best Use of Niacin” award. However, Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer) isn’t phased because her company will soon be unveiling a secret weapon: a shelf-stable, fruit-based pastry.
[There’s a lot of random humor in Unfrosted, including failed contemporary Kellogg’s products like “Wilt Chamberflakes” and “Grandma’s Holes.” I can’t make you pay attention, but if you’re gonna watch this film, do watch it. No, really.]
Post has reason to believe they’re close to a breakthrough; urchins go dumpster-diving for the “goo” every morning. What has Kellogg’s missed? Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan) employs his head of development, Bob Cabana, to rush their own pastry development. So he immediately steals 
frenemy Donna Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy) from NASA. She scoffs upon leaving, “oh, like we’re really going to the moon!”
And here’s where you’re either going to be tickled by the film or just find it completely stupid: in engineering the new product, Stankowski and Cabana immediately hire a series of people completely unconnected to breakfast food, but it’s a rogues gallery of namedropping: Chef Boy Ardee (Bobby Moynihan), Steve Schwinn (Jack McBrayer), Harold von Braunhut (Thomas Lennon), Tom Carvel (Adrian Martinez), and Jack LaLanne (James Marsden). Are any of these people necessary? No, of course not. But they balance out the breakfast food mascot contingent, headed by Thurl Ravenscroft (Hugh Grant).
[Christmas fans know Ravenscroft as the cruel narrator behind the words, “you’re a mean one, Mister Grinch,” but before that track, the Shakespearean actor was the man behind Tony the Tiger.]
Nothing will make me smile faster than stupid mascot antics and Unfrosted has a mascot recreation of January 6. And did I mention the adversarial milk lobby, headed by Christian Slater and Peter Dinklage?
I would have been very sad for this film were it not good. Do you know how many legitimately funny people are in it? I counted twenty-two widely recognizable names in the cast, if you’re up on your “SNL.” Not my personal record … but when you count more than ten “I know that THAT guy!” during the credits, well, there were too many funny people in this movie for it not to have some moments. Overall, I found this a better version of the Kurt Russell Disney not-so-classic The Strongest Man in the World. I wouldn’t call Unfrosted comic perfection, but I was amused throughout. Was there any real history to be learned here? What do you care?
There once was an executive, Bob
Kellogg’s cereal profits were his job
Yet pastries were elusive
Until he found his exclusive
A sandwich filled with mock jelly glob
Rated PG-13, 97 Minutes
Director: Jerry Seinfeld
Writer: Jerry Seinfeld. Spike Ferensten, Andy Robin
Genre: History?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Who ARE these people?!
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If Seinfeld is a turn-off, this ain’t gonna help
