I know this is gonna sound both naïve and stupid, but it just occurred to me that the point of these ultra-Christian infomercials isn’t entertainment. It looks like entertainment; it smells like entertainment … and the writing and acting is on par with your average Hallmark snooze-fest, but the Kendrick brothers are not out to entertain people; they’re out for conversions. Good luck with that, asshats.
There’s only one other genre of movie that doesn’t prioritize entertainment: documentaries. But documentaries intend to teach you something. Godsquad films teach absolutely nothing. I’m not even sure they teach good Christian values because 1) the scenarios are so unrealistic, and 2) it is obvious from human existence in the United States of 2024 that most Christians don’t have any of these values. [Hint: If you did, Trump wouldn’t be your champion.]
Today’s Kendrick Godfomercial is replete with black people. Woohoo! Congratulations! Christo-fascism has a façade of diversity! Christo-fascism doesn’t have any genuine diversity, of course. Christo-fascism has no tolerance for other faiths or the advancement of minorities. MAGA, just like the church, is all about hierarchy, so, you know, thanks for the bone; Christo-fascism will practice nothing that it preaches, but the brochure will look nice.
Isaiah Wright (Aspen Kennedy) is a slacker with a bad attitude, exactly the kind of person authorities in 1980s films warned us against. He doesn’t want college or a job; he just wants to screw around the house playing video games until mom gets mad at him. When mom threatens eviction, he searches for jobs the next day. And wouldn’t you know it? He gets an impromptu interview with a CEO … as one does.
I kinda wish my dad were still alive, cuz this is exactly the scenario he would paint for me. I mean, sure, ot has no basis in modern reality, but try telling my dad that.
Oh, and Isaiah finds God, of course, and becomes a superior human being. Good for him.
This is the kind of film in which literally nothing happens for 30 minutes at a time. And when I say, “nothing happens,” I mean people praying and talking about their faith. Nothing on film is more worthless than people praying. Nothing.
Eventually, we get to the exciting climax where Isaiah leads a team of overworked staff members working an entire night unpaid to save a company. We have people on film literally praying for computers. It all comes off like a throwaway episode of “Superstore,” except without the humor. And I couldn’t help thinking, “Yeah, but, aren’t you the same jackasses who promote Christian capitalism?” What’s
more capitalistic than a competitor stealing your customers because they offer a better service or product? Hmmm … is this a socialism message?
What’s my problem with this stuff? Can’t the Kendrick brothers make their stupid Pro-God propaganda without me shitting all over it? Well, I’ll tell you the problem: First of all, this isn’t entertainment; this is a two-hour informercial. 2) If you’ve got money to make a movie, and you use it to advertise for your religion instead of, I dunno, promoting all those things you say your religion is about, like charity, and kindness, and humility, and welfare promotion, you’re probably doing it wrong. 3) We live in a time and place where Christo-fascism not only exists; it has written a playbook of exclusivity and punishment for when it next takes power. I don’t care your intentions; if you make a film like this while Project 2025 is a thing, you are firmly planted on the wrong side of history.
Now, other than that, The Forge proved tedious, cheesy, and based in something that certainly isn’t my reality. But it did ask some important questions, like: Do we only grow through accepting Jesus? If I put my faith in God, will I get a new car? And hey, I’m a Christian, where’s my sword?
I’m growing weary of films like this, but right now, it is my responsibility to trash them and trash them good. You know, Kendricks, one doesn’t need to be a person of faith to do good in this world. In fact, if fear of Hell is the only reason you do good things, you’re not actually a good person. Suck on that.
There was once a sour kid named Isaiah
Who lived not anywhere near La Brea
He found him some God
Which seems a bit odd
But it allowed for many scenes about pray-ah
Rated PG, 124 Minutes
Director: Alex Kendrick
Writer: Alex Kendrick, Stephen Kendrick
Genre: God infomercials
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Godsquaders
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Me
