Something is wrong here. You know how I can tell? The film is set in deep space, like Jupiter … and Casey Affleck is dressed like he’s taking in a “Game of Thrones” marathon on his couch. I dunno what classic spacewear is, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t coincide with what the “Friends” wear on lazy Sundays.
And, yes, there is something wrong on Odyssey 1. The ship has a ding and the three-person crew can’t decide what to do about it.
Lemme back up. One of Saturn’s moons, Titan, has some natural resources worth mining. I’m quite serious when I say the plot is to farm methane from Titan and return to Earth. Ummmmm … exactly how much methane do you think you’ll be able to collect and tow back to Earth in the minimum four years this job will take? This has to be among the stupidest missions I’ve ever heard of. Treating a trillion-dollar mission to Saturn as a what? Mining car? Garbage scow? And for what purpose? Methane doesn’t reproduce. How much methane could one collect in a spaceship to make this trip worth the effort? I’ll save you zillions; simply pay me the sum of $1B, and I’ll buy a cow and let it fart. I guarantee you I will get more methane out of this than you will.
Anyhoo, to “speed up” the trip to Saturn, the Odyssey has to Slingshot using Jupiter’s gravitational pull … something I’ve accepted but never learned, science-wise – do I run faster when I circle m
ountains? And being that the trip ain’t exactly a simple overnight, “Astronaut John” (Affleck) has to be in cryosleep for months at a time. You try waking up right after a three-month sleep.
Tensions rise after an object dents the hull. Captain Franks (Laurence Fishburne) says “go on.” Aeronatics expert Nash (Tomer Capone) says, “we gotta go back.” John is in the middle. Seriously, folks, why a three-man crew? What purpose did that serve? The purpose where you put Astronaut John exactly in the middle? Cuz that’s what’s happening.
BTW, can you imagine getting on a spaceship to Saturn, knowing that you won’t see Earth again for years – if you ever get back that is – and deciding two years in, “We gotta go back. Er, um, I left the stove on?”
Slingshot is the kind of psychological space thriller we saw perfected in Moon. Slingshot isn’t on the level; it’s a bit basic, telegraphs too many punches, and it’s a sad reminder that space travel won’t be perfected in this generation. I won’t say the film was either dull or unwatchable. Neither is true; there just wasn’t enough there to convince me that I needed two hours of Casy Affleck.
There once was an astronaut, John
Who turned into a psychological pawn
His trip to outer space
Made his mind lose its place
Can it return or is he too far gone?
Rated R, 108 Minutes
Director: Mikael Håfström
Writer: R. Scott Adams, Nathan Parker
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who like to say, “I told ya so.”
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The kind of person rooting for Elon Musk to perfect space travel
