Creature is not a good film, but has one superior characteristic that sets it apart at your theater: it’s not Shark Night 3D.
Film opens on a swamp, which for some unknown reason compels a babe to go skinny dippin’ by herself. And this is some indulgent semi-sepia skinny dippin’, thank you nameless cinematographer. Then creepy camera angle or two, some music, a shot of a slithering gator, some screaming, some thrashing and a minute later there’s a gasping naked woman emerging from the water; a panning up camera slowly reveals she no longer has any limb below either butt cheek. In two minutes, just two minutes, we’ve already established a better scare, better nudity and a more disturbing visual than anything Shark Night 3D had to offer.
Sure, the soon-to-be-set-upon teens are straight out of a college promotion brochure, but the locals here are Deliverance-level backwater, and not rival fraternity, types. Score another for Creature. Meet the easily riled shopkeep with only 5 fingers total and the guy who wore the clown make-up in House of 1,000 Corpses. Back to the kids. Hey, here’s our token black guy Niles (Mehcad Brooks), what’s his back-story? He’s an ex-marine who jumped the corps for love. Future multi-million dollar athlete? Please. Much better background. Creature doesn’t need to apologize for why a white woman loves a black man, nor did it need to explain why he’s friends with a bunch of white guys. And … Niles becomes the hero, not the first victim. From a pure historical race-relation standpoint, this film is about three to five evolutionary cycles ahead of Shark Night 3D.
After that, well, not much to recommend. Grisly exposition involving in-breeding and cannibalism. Legend of man-monster. Meet yokels, do the moronic “let’s go find it” thing. Disaster, disgust and death ensue. Standard horror stuff. Then we meet the monster. Do you/would you find this scary?
Yeah, neither would I. You could wake me up from a sound sleep wearing that and I’d start laughing. Creature: Better than Shark Night 3D. And we’re done.
Rated R, 93 Minutes
D: Fred Andrews
W: Tracy Morse, Fred Andrews
Genre: Moronic horror
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who love camp indulgence.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The wiggy.
