In Russia, stripper marry YOU! *Apologies* But I couldn’t not channel Yakov Smirnoff one last time. You know Yakov is actually Ukrainian and came to fame when Ukraine was still an SSR, making him “Russian.” I haven’t checked, but I wonder where he stands on the war given that his success stems almost entirely from a USSR in which being Ukrainian meant being Russian.
No matter. This film, thankfully, has nothing to do with Yakov Smirnoff and very little to do with Russia, TBH. It has everything to do with a pretty ‘n’ poor princess with an awfully big mouth.
Anora, who goes by Ani (Mikey Madison), is a high-end stripper at Headquarters, a Brooklyn night club. She’s young, attractive, and speaks a little Russian, hence gets introduced to Ivan (Mark Eydelshteyn), a Russian playboy. It’s hard to describe the exact contempt I have for Ivan (aka “Vanya”). He is a little boy who likes sex and has too much money and too many toys to play with. At this rate, he has learned less than nothing and will never grow up; why should he? Left alone in a gorgeous estate with a river view, he has disposable cash out the wazoo and uses it on strippers and blow. I suppose he’s young, so we can forgive a little youthful indiscretion, but not much.
Vanya is quite taken with Ani. In some fairly explicit sex scenes, we see Ani take charge; she knows what she’s doing (sexually, at least). He approaches everything with a false confidence instilled with money he hasn’t earned. Vanya is only in the US for a few weeks. This is unclear at first but becomes very clear later. He “buys” Ani for one of those weeks. Ani is only too happy; even a high-end stripper rarely sees a $15k week. Ani lives in a hole with roommate who will wake her up just to ask if she got milk. For a week, she gets to live the life of a Russian playboy. He’s never gonna wake her to ask about milk.
At this point, the film has been a lot of establishing and not a lot of plot. Vanya is a rich toddler. Ani is the kind of woman who needs rich toddlers to make a living. Vanya suggests they go to Las Vegas, cuz, you know, what else do you do when you have a private jet, unlimited money, and nothing but freedom? And then, in a fit of “neither of you knows what you’re doing, do you?” they get married, and before long, the plot shows up.
Ani thinks she’s won the jackpot. Here is the rich prince who is going to take her from her life of pain and poverty. I think she likes Vanya, too, at least enough not to recognize the boy is a complete tool. Ani’s naïveté is on full display here, 
assuaged only by the fact that Vanya is an even bigger fool than she is. Vanya has parents and handlers … and none of them want to see an American stripper as Mrs. Vanya, knowwhatI’msayin’?
Hence, the entire rest of the film – about 90 minutes or so, I’m estimating – is about Vanya’s people trying to annul Vanya’s marriage … with the bride scratching and clawing against that inevitability with each and every step. In vivid detail. Without a break. I’m sure this is the part of the film people enjoy the most – the extended moments of sheer anger and rebellion, the livid, defiant, and enduring scowl of a woman shown the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow only to have the leprechaun’s parents say, “It wasn’t his to give.”
The problem here is I don’t like Ani very much. I don’t care that she’s a sex worker. Hey, you do you, woman. Gotta make a living somehow. But I found her both unrealistic and irascible. So, while the film was more-or-less engaging, I found the endless annulment quest growing tiresome. Sure, I felt bad for the kid, but not 140 minutes worth of bad and not enough to make the endless night of Ani and the thugs seem like the ride of the year. Anora will find itself endearing to a certain crowd of defiant fortune hunters, but I wasn’t entirely sold.
There once lived a young woman, Ani
Who removed all her clothes for many
Her MO was crushin’
When she lassoed a Russian
But his fam didn’t give her a penny
Rated R, 139 Minutes
Director: Sean Baker
Writer: Sean Baker
Genre: Lives you don’t want
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Strippers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Prudes
