Do magicians creep you out? To me, they’re like broken circus clowns … teeming masses of something vaguely resembling humankind but not quite making it – like an alien come to earth, but landing in Utah and assuming that’s the way all humans live, and then emulating such. The idea of a magician bar doesn’t help the image – like some sort of hive where failed comedians and puppeteers dress in velvet and pompadours while constantly pulling rabbits out of their asses.
We open on childhood. I usually don’t care about backstory (or not for review purposes) but the young Burt is getting bullied. Get this, the bully is the douche-y hero from the Wimpy Kid films. Ha! Yup, that’s the Zachary Gordon casting I prefer — 30 seconds of him being a dick and leaving rather than wasting my time pretending a life lesson would be learned. The wimpy kid here is Burt, and he turns friendlessness into *magic*. The magic set gift scene 
is priceless — he comes home to a “Happy Birthday” message from mom — she’s left him a cake mix and an additional note that they’re out of eggs. At school, his magic impresses nobody but the one kid who is even a bigger loser. Of course.
Ah, how being a loser pays off in the long run. Next thing you know, childhood pals Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) and Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) are already phoning in their decades-long Vegas show. The velvety twin jumpsuits and theme song of Steve Miller’s “Abracadabra” rank somewhere on the cheese scale between camembert and Velveeta. It’s the kind of show you go to Vegas to see and then pretend you loved because you can’t resolve your feelings with how much you spent.
Burt Wonderstone has evolved from childood friendless geek to voluntarily friendless philandering jerk. When he pisses off yet another assistant, Jane (Olivia Wilde) becomes his new “Nicole.” Part of the shtick is Burt’s refusal to learn anybody’s name. Ah, but Nemesis is unkind and Burt & Anton find themselves unemployed and parted by the end of Act I. Oh no, their magic is dated! I am overcome with apathy. Will they get back together? Will they find a new audience? Since when is Olivia Wilde a name worth remembering? Dammit, that’s two good roles in a row — now I can’t just lump her in with the army of Brooklyn Deckers.
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone must have been a blast to make. I imagine this is one of those movies the crew really enjoyed — like the scene where Anton departs and leaves Burt to do the show solo … and he changes exactly nothing in the act. Given that most of their magic is misdirection (one guy shows while the other sneaks), following the one sneaky guy around is an almost painful sight. Or like the costumer and hairdresser who made Steve Carell look like a flamboyant sexually ambiguous lion tamer. Or Jim Carrey, as rival Steve Gray, in his first great role since … wow, I don’t even want to look that one up. He is, believe it or not, fantastic as the new breed of shock magician who grabs attention less with magic and more with Guinness-Record-Book type idiocy, like sleeping on a bed of hot coals or taking a full can of pepper spray to the eyes without blinking. His dismissal of Burt is both hilarious and cruel. I laughed myself silly when Steve departs the magician bar by caressing Burt’s cheek and softly lamenting, “Your skin makes me sad.”
Most of Burt Wonderstone did not, in fact, make me sad. I’ll leave it at that.
Stuck in routine Houdini stock,
Burt confronted the new magic shock,
Twas a bitter pill
And took all his will,
To return to now updated schlock.
Rated PG-13, 100 Minutes
D: Don Scardino
W: Chad Kultgen, Tyler Mitchell, Jonathan M. Goldstein & John Francis Daley
Genre: Magic!
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Siegfried and/or Roy
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The imagination challenged
