Why don’t the dead dress better? I’m just sayin’. Hey, ex-people, you can talk the living into a lot of things: We’ve been sold on the need to own handguns, purchase bottled water, worship One Direction … It doesn’t even take that much, but fellas, this isn’t handguns, drugs, or sweet harmony. Death doesn’t sell itself. You’ve got to market better. Sure, I’m glad that you’ve upgraded from “bedsheet” – an improvement no question. Now how about some color? Have you got something against Benetton ads?
People! People! Listen up: just because you’re dead doesn’t mean fashion rules don’t exist. And, really, it’s in your best interests, like signaling to change lanes. Hmmm, do the dead drive? Geez, Jim, Of course they do. Just look at your neighborhood.
So when we last left Insidious, Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) had saved his boy but lost himself. Of course, that was a whole movie ago, so we’re not sure how this works. Is he still lost … or kinda found? Somebody put his soul on a milk carton in the interim? Patrick Wilson does a wonderful “am I good or am I bad?” face. He might be a guy like Matthew McConaughey or Alec Baldwin, i.e. he is simply waiting to be the age where he’ll make an impact. I think he’s getting there.
Much like Young Indiana Jones or Muppet Babies, we actually begin Insidious: Chapter 2 exploring the root of Josh’s current dilemma. Turns out, he had the worst non-Holocaust aided childhood ever. We see l’il Josh and meet the thing in his closet; a thing that doesn’t really like anybody and gets violent. Two scenes later, of course, Josh introduces his family to the lovely house where he grew up. The police have cordoned off his own house, so they’re all living with grandma (Barbara Hershey). Buck up, boys, you can stay in my old room — why, there’s that closet I was so fond of.
Insidious: Chapter 2 has a few good scares and some nice innovation — the mystic (Steve Coulter) who uses letter dice instead of a Ouija board was a nice touch, as were the nerdy comic relief twins (Angus Sampson and Leigh Whannell) who play hunter-bear-ninja instead of rock-paper-scissors. You can’t fault the film for trying. Character development in a horror film is next to impossible.
I still think James Wan is the best current horror director around. He has a fantastic vision for the way a scene ought to look. Part of this, of course, means not a single shot will ever occur in good light. I keep waiting for James Wan characters to turn on the freaking lights. What are you, saving energy? Are we in a crisis? Would it kill you to turn on the lights? Oh, sorry. Scratch that last one. Insidious: Chapter 2 is creepy. There are several scenes that have no business being creepy and are creepy anyway, like when a ghost tells us of another ghost invisible to the man he’s talking to. When we the audience get a look, we’re horrified. Now visible ghost is a pale, shirtless, hairy mess. It’s important to note this is a throw away character — we never see him again; he serves no purpose other than to give us a shock. And this is where Insidiouser loses me: much like Saw 2, this film banks towards the sensational instead of the truly horrifying.
♪Don’t bring death home, oh no
Don’t you bring it home
My soul is full
And the closets are
Filled with horrible dreams
Don’t bring death home, oh no
Don’t you bring it home
Find a plot that’s nice
But don’t bring it home. ♫
Rated PG-13, 105 Minutes
D: James Wan
W: James Wan & Leigh Whannell
Genre: Nightmare
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The dead
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Alarmists
♪Parody inspired by “Don’t Bring It Home”
