Hey, a pre-prequel. Is that a threequel? Can you name another trilogy that continually goes back in time? “Why?” one might ask? Because the formula climaxes with the death of the main character. Oh, sorry. You didn’t see that coming? Really?
Paranormal Activity 3 starts in 2006 with some useless backstory to pad the runtime. You may think you’re getting a valuable tidbit here, but you’re not. Trust me. The real story takes place in September of 1988 when stepdad Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) makes his film hobby/career a full-time affair. This is always the first step.
Don’t know the formula? Well it goes something like: a guy starts documenting home life on film. Every once in a while, something mildly unnerving happens, like a knock or a lamp swinging without cause. The bread-and-butter gimmick of the franchise is leaving a stationary camera on a room (usually a bedroom) and then fast-forwarding to the wee hour when something happens – a light turns on, a door opens, etc. Many nights are documented. By the final ten minutes, people actually start figuring out there’s a ghost in the house and make stupid decisions with regards to such. The end. This version added two new elements: the first is a character who can see the ghost (a little girl who calls it “Toby” because the demon world sucks at naming, too) and an oscillating camera. The latter is useful for anticipatory shots of action taking place in the room we’re getting to. I felt this could have been used to better effect. And, of course, I say “action”, but rarely does anything of note happen while someone sleeps.
Two movies ago you might have freaked me out with a tablecloth moving three centimeters or Teddy Ruxpin having a conversation with himself. Now I see the apparition less as a malicious poltergeist and more as an annoying family pet. Uh oh, don’t make Toby mad. He might just tip something onto the floor or soil the carpet. The bottom line to all the Paranormal Activity films is this: if while watching you described what was going on to a friend over the phone, your friend would ask, “why aren’t you doing something else?” And you wouldn’t have a good answer.
To the producers of Paranormal Activity 3, however, this tiresome combination of mirthless repetition and callous cashing in is the ultimate wet dream. The cheapskate $5 M estimated budget is reflected everywhere (spared no lack of expense!) and yet it raked in $52.6 M in domestic box alone the first weekend. That’s the point, of course – homemade movie with unknown actors (theoretically) translates to a more tangible audience feel. i.e. cheaper=more realistic. (&) i.e. forget expelling the demon, good luck getting rid of this franchise in any form.
Rated R, 85 Minutes
D: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
W: Christopher B. Landon
Genre: Home movie
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The horror starved
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Snobs who need a film to have a plot
