It’s hard to believe we can still discover Nazi atrocities, isn’t it? Yes, they’re an awesome benchmark of evil. So evil were the Nazis that if you can name any harm done to mankind, odds are they indulged. They’re kinda like the Rule 34 of immorality.
The Nazi encroachment into the soul of humankind is relatively minor in The Monuments Men – a film about a small allied force of scholars out to save and return the great art stolen by the Third Reich. Despite the laundry list of notables (George Clooney, Matt Damon, John Goodman, Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray), this is a humble, almost apologetic film. It’s well aware that we’re not defeating the forces of evil here. Well, not with bullets, at least. The world is at war; the Nazis have executed six million Jews and here’s a team of old men looking for Little Boy Blue. Sorry, The Blue Boy.
Monuments Men takes place after D-day in 1944 and this team of ancient artifacts [read: old men] recreates the same shore landing that took so many Allied lives in June. Of course, the last time we combined Matt Damon with a 
Normandy landing film it was the best battle scene in cinematic history. By contrast, this aged team in Monuments has about the same survival rate traversing the beachhead even without the gunfire.
That said, I love this take on World War II. Not all battles are on the field with bullets and cannonfire. The Nazis did steal a ton of art (the movie tells us that’s why they didn’t bomb Paris the way they hit London) in an effort to fill the –thankfully never realized—Fuhrer Museum. The war was just as personal to those who couldn’t fight as those who could. And the truth is this mission was dangerous. Donald Jeffries (Hugh Bonneville) enters a Belgian church fully knowing the likelihood that the retreating Nazis will thieve a Madonna ‘n’ Child Michelangelo statue. If history and the movies have taught me anything, it’s that whenever you defy Nazis, there’s a real good chance shooting will follow. Try to imagine Act III of The Great Escape with the small teams making their way back into the prison camp instead of out and you get a good idea of how this film plays.
The screenplay spends too much time exploring a dead-end relationship between American James Granger (Damon) and French Resistance insider Claire Simon (Blanchett). She’s too standoffish for this assorted collection of Russian Roulette treasure hunting. And while the Damon/Blanchett resolution does merit a smile, it’s a little too stand pat. And that’s the downside of Monuments Men — it is a little too glib and just a little too arms length from the “real war.” The movie seems endlessly trying to convince us of the nobility of the effort — of course, this is the right audience — I mean, showing a movie about the importance of art? Kinda like asking New York Yankees fans if making the Hall of Fame is an important achievement. There’s no need to convince; the danger is real even if the cutesy undermines it.
♪Rescue me
From those Nazi goons
In Vichy
Missing festoons
‘Coz I’m stolen and I’m blue
Or maybe cubist or baroque, too
Come on allies and rescue me
Come on Clooney and Hugh Bonne-
‘Coz I feel just like Munch’s Scream
Can’t you see I need Paris
Rescue Me♫
Rated PG-13, 118 Minutes
D: George Clooney
W: George Clooney & Grant Heslov
Genre: Minor Nazi atrocity
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The actual Monuments Men
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Jealous WWII soldiers
♪ Parody Inspired by “Rescue Me”
