The day after I saw this film I had the pleasure of being in Toronto and found myself speaking with a young Canadian man I’d never met before. As our conversation grew comfortable while watching my A’s dryhump his Jays, he challenged, “I have a bone to pick with Hollywood.” (“do tell”) “American movies always discount contributions of Canadians in World War II.” I thought about this a moment. I’ve probably seen at least 100 WWII films in my lifetime and I can’t remember a single one where a Canadian was featured. Mike Myers was in the revisionist romp Inglorious Basterds, but as he was playing a Brit, that doesn’t count. I believe my new friend was right; Canucks have been maltreated in Southern California battlegrounds. For the record, Canadians lost 45,000 men fighting on the good guys side of WWII; they were there before we were and they were there at Normandy, taking 50% casualties during the first hour of battle on 6/6/44, just like everybody else who landed on the beach in front of German machine guns. And a Canadian played a key role in the real life Great Escape – i.e. there should have been a Canadian character in the movie.
I offered a feeble, “Americans are very territorial about World War II, from ‘who won it?’ To ‘how they won it?’ to ‘who suffered the most?’ ” On the last point, we Americans will indeed concede The Jews, but nobody else. The idea that Japan inflicted more pain on China than the United States in WWII is national blasphemy.
And now we’ve become possessive not only about re-writing World War II history, but re-writing World War II 
mythology as well, which brings us to today’s movie: Captain America. This film is actually a revisitation of a 1990 version equally as compelling as your average G.I. sock. We won’t talk about that. In this version, Chris Evans is CGI’d down at the beginning to look like a classic 95-pound weakling. War has broken out and he can’t join up to fight the enemy like a good blood-thirsty American, but he has the heart of a warrior. If only he can stay away from bullies kicking sand in his face at the beach. A little signing, a little boot camp and a little mad-science later and poof, he’s Chris Evans with the strength, speed and intelligence of maybe three or four Chris Evanses. It’s better than I’m describing – the production design team did labor overtime to give a true 1940s feel to the film.
The part that gets to me about this story is that while ever’body else seemed to be reasonably clad for war, Captain America strolls about the heavily guarded forests of Europe toting a handgun and a Target ad shield whilst donning a uniform befitting only the loftiest of circus side-shows. Everybody else thinks this is normal. The big “A” on his “hat”, is that for “Adulterer”? Why announce that to the Nazis? It just doesn’t make any sense. I kept waiting for the opposing panzer division to start an open guffaw upon seeing the Captain. And while we’re on the subject, who promoted him, anyway? If he Americas above and beyond the call of duty, does he rise to Colonel America? Did he start out as Private America? That sounds like an insurance company. Anyway, if you can get past the silly, the film is rather entertaining … for Americans. I can’t say the Canadians will be wavin’ the maple leaf for it. Just have to hold out for Captain Canadia, eh.
Rated PG-13, 124 Minutes
D: Joe Johnston, who is incapable of making something other than a 3-star film
W: Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely
Genre: Revisionist history superhero
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: True red, white & blue Nazi-hatin’ Americans.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: I dunno, historians, maybe.
